A Little Dirt in the Corners

I have mentioned before that God sends us a common theme when he is trying to get us to perk up and take notice.  For me, this week has been all about corners.  God is awesome, because I would have ignored that little word, but He kept sending it waiting on me to sweep it all up into a cohesive thought.

It started the other day when I was sitting with the sweet lady who cleans our church and I was thanking her for what she does, and not just that, but the heart that she does it in.  She is truly working for the Lord each time she runs the vacuum or dusts the pews.  And she said "well thank you, but I always feel like I miss some corners", to which I responded "honey, we all have dirty corners".  I bet any one of you right now could gather a troop of dust bunnies or round up some grit...and that is just in the living room.

Have you ever heard of someone having to stand or sit in the corner when they do something bad? They have to go put there nose in the corner and think about what they have done and how they can make amends or choose differently the next time around.  They are asked to leave their "dirt" in the corner and live a new option from that moment forward.

Mark 6:10-12  “Wherever you go,” he said, “stay in the same house until you leave town.  But if any place refuses to welcome you or listen to you, shake its dust from your feet as you leave to show that you have abandoned those people to their fate.”  So the disciples went out, telling everyone they met to repent of their sins and turn to God.

 

When you are put in a corner, you can't go straight, you have to make a turn.  And isn't that what repentance is?  To repent, is to turn a corner, to switch direction, to live a new life in Christ.  You hit that corner and you "shake its dust from your feet as you leave to show that you have abandoned" a life lived without Christ.  From that perspective, dirty little geometric junctions don't seem so bad...

 

Not that I am trying to enable myself or others to slack on their domestic duties (just kidding, I am totally giving myself an out!), - but why don't we let those earthy little angles serve as a reminder of all that we have been through, and overcome, and sacrificed in order to receive God's lavish grace and abundant forgiveness? 

 

I went to the automatic car wash yesterday and I have a small car and short arms (you can laugh, it's pretty comical), so I had to open the driver side door to reach the payment slot and wash button option.  I was wearing an orange waterfall type vest and when I went to close the door, I failed to notice that the bottom corner of my vest was trapped, hanging out the door.  I noticed just as the monstrous pom-pom washers came cruising by.  So I had to sit patiently and wait out the rest of the "ultimate" wash experience.  When it was over, this little corner of my vest was tri-soaked, hot-waxed, rain-coated, and spot-free rinsed. 

 

And I am so lovingly reminded that God cleans the corners of our lives where we are stuck and just waiting for things to cycle through. 

 

2 Corinthians 5:17 This means that anyone who belongs to Christ has become a new person. The old life is gone; a new life has begun!

 

Don't apologize for dirty corners, it means your life is full of activity and choices, and opportunities to take it all in a different direction.  The challenge is trying to decide if you have the energy to clean up the dust, to wait with your nose against the wall and allow God to wash, rinse, and sometimes...repeat. 

Some Walked Away...

These were part of our focus verses last night at Connect Worship:

John 6:64-66  But there are some of you who do not believe.  For Jesus knew from the beginning who they were who did not believe, and who it was who would betray Him.  And He was saying, "For this reason I have said to you, that no one can come to me, unless it has been granted him by the Father".  As a result of this, many of His disciples withdrew and were not walking with Him anymore. 

Holy Cow Y'all!  Did you know that there were way more than 'THE 12' Disciples early on and they decided they couldn't hang with Jesus and left?  The walked away from JESUS!  This brought me to a couple of thoughts 1.  I wonder if they ever looked back and questioned that decision!?! and 2. Okay, I can really let it go if someone doesn't want to be around me or click with who I am...because, um, yeah, people walked away from JESUS! 

It brings me so much comfort because at any given time, I could fill my spare time with the following support groups and I am sure my family could think of many more (titles are of my own whimsical enticement):

1.  For the Love of Internal Organs - Do I Need a Gall Bladder or Not?
2.  How to Live as an Outgoing Introvert with mild OCD, Anxiety, Passion, and Depression
3.  Back Away From the Brownies
4.  Nothing is Wrong, I Just Want to Be Quiet
5.  I LOVE Having Deep Encouraging Conversations About Faith
6.  I Forgive Them, But I Don't Want Them In My Life
7.  Addicted to Inspirational Quotes Anonymous (particularly on Pinterest)
8.  I Mainly Want to Win the Lottery to Do Good In the World (Mostly)
9.  Aspiring Authors and Motivational Speakers
10.  Yes, Yes, I Do Need to Pray More

I am exactly who God made me to be, and some people will be able to accept me the way I am and keep on keeping on with me.  I am an Introvert with a lot of self-confidence, tons of passion and compassion - but I don't want everyone to know.  When I commit to something, I am usually all-in and burn myself out quickly - I am working on this.  I have always been a rooter for the underdog.  When I feel comfortable enough to share something that I am going through with someone, I really NEED them to let me be self-absorbed in that moment - I gotta let it out, then I promise I will move on.  My personality is such, that if I lose trust in you, it takes scaling Mt. Everest to win it back - I can forgive you, but not confide in you. 

 

When we were losing our store a few years ago, I learned so much about people.  The people that walked away stunned me, the (few) people that remained astounded me, and who has come since has taught me the very most about authenticity and unconditional acceptance and friendship - like tearing up thinking about you right this very second.  And just as John wrote above, Jesus knew.  He knew who in His circle believed and could embrace the journey.  And in my life, He knows who I need to attend my support groups with and who will walk away and form their own.  And it is so okay...

 

I am so thankful that Jesus was human.  That everything we go through, He also experienced.  He was judged, abandoned, gossiped about, encouraged to tone-it-down-a-notch, drug back to be with a mass of people when all He wanted was some quiet time, and He walked with Judas when He knew...He knew what Judas would do.  And my lack of gall bladder is nothing compared to His physical pain on the Cross.

I attended a state leadership meeting over the summer that has local community groups all over the nation.  They encouraged us to embrace and spend energy on the people who are attending meetings and activities.  The facilitator asked "Why are you exhausting yourself on people who don't want to be with you?...Grow strong roots with who is there.".  And that can totally be applied to our lives - we have to learn (pray about how) to be okay with who is not here and climb tall trees with those that are.  It is definitely a beautiful adventure with many branches, tire swings, and gentle breezes.

Thank you for walking with me on this journey and humoring support group #7 today!

 

Not Yet the Last First Day of School

So I did not get the traditional back-to-school photo op this morning.  When I grabbed my phone and asked if they were ready for pictures, my sophomore daughter looked over her shoulder at me and rolled her eyes and made that teenage sound "eeeehhhh" and my eighth grade son, dressed in a cut up t-shirt and shorts for athletics, showed me his titties.  So no, no I did not get an angelic picture this morning to mark the occasion. 

I did make myself stop and take a moment to thank God that these two little humans are mine and that this morning is pretty much a perfect representation of who we are and I probably should have taken the picture anyway.  My son told me I could take one after school when he had "nice" clothes on and I am pretty sure my daughter will not be able to resist a selfie today, so I will screenshot it when she is not looking.

I have read a few articles lately about "lasts":  When was the last time I braided her hair?  When was the last time I washed their hair for them?  When was the last time I picked them up and carried them on my hip?  When was the last time I read them a story?  When was the last time I rocked them goodnight?  Some "lasts" seem to fly under the radar and catch us by surprise trying to recall the moment when they snuck right out of our lives.  Other "lasts" we can review in our calendar:  Last day of school; last baseball tournament; last day in braces; last day to pay a bill; last time we attended a meeting.

And just as something ends, something new is allowed to begin.  I have always been fond of this passage from Ecclesiastes.  I will unashamedly admit that it all started with the classic movie Footloose where God used it as the leading argument for a young man new to town who just. wanted. to. DaNcE!  It worked for him and it works for us:  

Ecclesiastes 3:1-8 There is an appointed time for everything. And there is a time for every event under heaven-

A time to give birth and a time to die;

A time to plant and a time to uproot what is planted.

A time to kill and a time to heal;

A time to tear down and a time to build up.

A time to weep and a time to laugh;

A time to mourn and a time to dance.

A time to throw stones and a time to gather stones;

A time to embrace and a time to shun embracing.

A time to search and a time to give up as lost;

A time to keep and a time to throw away.

A time to tear apart and a time to sew together;

A time to be silent and a time to speak.

A time to love and a time to hate;

A time for war and a time for peace

 

Not only is there a season for everything, God allows those times so that you can learn those lessons and it may be painful, or blissful, or memory-making, or forgetful, but they are meant to be a foundation for greater things, not a mound of dirt to dwell on.  My contribution to The Mom Quilt is about that - life lessons, building a legacy of momentous things (you can hit the 'Buy Now' button over there on the right!).  The things I touch on are hard, and few of you knew that about me, but they have shaped my decisions my entire life.  To weep, embrace, search, be silent, love....sew together. 

 

We may not always remember the last time we washed our babies hair, but thank goodness we taught them to do it on their own...because that...that would totally be awwwkkkward.  And teenage snuggles (especially when it is their choice) rank right up there to nodding off in the rocking chair.  And although we may not read to them like we remember, I am thankful for the village that taught them to read and find the adventure in it.  Each ending, is a further beginning for an added season of independence, of preference, and diversity. 

 

So this morning's time of eye-rolls and 13 year-old man-child nipples will pave the way for our current time - an amazing first day of school and stories to greet me as I walk in the door ...camera ready. 

 

The Mom Quilt - Stories of Motherhood, Hope, and Love

Woo-to-the-Hoo!  It is finally here and this will be the absolute longest day of work in my life until I can get home, reserve my spot on the sofa, grab a glass of wine and my Kindle and some Kleenex, and dive in to some serious mom stories.

The Mom Quilt is a book compilation of different experiences of motherhood...different experiences, but hopefully some so similar that your heart will be moved to laugh, cry, frown, and smile at the ladies holding up a mirror to your soul.  Becky Mansfield, Paula Rollo, and Jodi Durr put out a request for stories, and I have a feeling they have received so much more! 

100% of the profits from this E-Book will go to www.MercyHouseKenya.org (thank you Kristen Welch!) to provide a water well for the Women of Mercy House.  It is E-Book only at this time in order to maximize our efforts and surpass the $40,000 goal set to build the well. 

Our submissions were 1500 to 2000 words and around 60 were published in the E-Book.  Some of you know that my own mother was a young mother of 17 when she had me and I chose to write what a foundation for my future that experience was for me (Check out Page 128).  It is a tall order to make your mom proud, and your daughter, and slowly learning...myself.

My hope is not only that you will purchase the E-Book, but that you consider an extra donation to Mercy House, shop Mercy House, pray for Mercy House, and of course encourage others to do all of the above as well!

I have shared what a chicken I was about this submission and the call from God to obey.  I am humbled and honored to be a part of this project.  May you be blessed by the blessing you are giving of clean water to women in Kenya. 

You can purchase your E-Book at the following link:

 https://www.e-junkie.com/ecom/gb.php?c=cart&i=1445034&cl=298991&ejc=2

Are We Really "Fine"?

Sometimes we say things because it is more of a habit.  We say things that we are accustomed to saying but do not really have any meaning behind what is said.  For example:  Passing someone at the grocery store "Hi, how are you?", "fine, and you?" (said with a smile and never breaking stride).  It is habit.  Are we honestly prepared standing in the middle of the potatoes and onions to commit to how we are "really doing" or to stand with an earnest ear to what may go well beyond "fine"? 

Some of you may know that we are a baseball family - like forfeit nice vacations, void sleeping-in on the weekends, tons of dirt in my washing machine, weekend diet of processed foods, sunflower seeds, and bottled water kind of family.  And every year that we travel with my son's team, we add another baseball family to our family, it keeps growing.  Our solid maple, pine tar on the trunk family tree has many branches.

We had a family join us this weekend that we haven't played with in a couple of years.  And as the weekend came to an end and we parted ways, I said "love you guys".  It just came out, not really as something I say out of habit, and I got a little choked up because...I totally meant it.  I love them.  All four of them.  I love their unpretentious kind hearts, their genuine friendship, their eagerness to help out when the call is made, and their ability to pick up right where the bat was dropped.  

We visited my grandparents a couple of weekends ago, my cousins were in and we all got together for lunch.  And as my grandma called us to eat, we stood in a circle and grasped each others hands and my grandpa began to pray.  And I was overcome with such emotion.  I didn't want to be "that person" that was weeping at a simple prayer over a simple meal prepared by many hands, so I swallowed...hard...that lump in my throat.  Overwhelmed with how much I love that man, how I love to hear him pray, and overcome when asking God "how many more times might I get to hear him pray Lord?".

And why can't I allow myself to be "that person" who has heart-to-hearts while selecting a head of lettuce, who cries when her grandpa prays?  It is habit for me to stand strong and appear "fine".  I want to work on being more of the person that without shame blurts out "love you" and sheds happy tears when someone she loves prays over a meal.  I want to be so moved by God to be who He created me to be with no reservations. My May Insight Devotional says:

Human beings are not designed to walk through the world alone.  We are made for relationship, which God gladly supplies.  We are both independent and interdependent, each needing others in order to function well.  We require support from our brothers and sisters in Christ.

We may feel alone when we are up to bat at the plate, but we have a whole team, a family, standing at the fence cheering us on.  We just have to be willing to watch some balls go by and take a couple of strikes before putting ourselves on base.  There is no such thing as perfection in baseball, or in life.  It takes tremendous courage to put ourselves out there and know that we may "appear to fail" more than 50% of the time. 

Hebrews 3:13  But encourage one another day after day, as long as it is still called "today", so that none of you will be hardened by the deceitfulness of sin.

Satan is a manipulator - he wants us to think that our sacrifices aren't worth it, that we aren't brave in our choices, and sometimes, merely, that everything is "fine".  But when we are around people that encourage us daily, weekendly, familiarly, unassumingly, and humbly...We can love like my boys love baseball, we can watch our friends walk away knowing that that are family, and we can shed happy tears when we pray over our produce. 

May you have an encounter this week that leaves you feeling like you hit one over the fence!  Amen.