To say that my heart is heavy this week is a massive understatement...with volcanoes, earthquakes, death tolls, riots, and empty baseball stadiums...it is hard to know where to begin my prayers and when, if ever, to end them. I have been debating all week what to focus my scattered thoughts on. I have typed and deleted, I have researched scripture and researched some more, I have watched the news and prayed some more...so much sorrow. Sorrow. Grief. Desperation.
Lamentations 2:11 (NASB) - I have cried until the tears no longer come; my heart is broken. My spirit is poured out in agony as I see the desperate plight of my people. Little children and tiny babies are fainting in the streets.
I have chosen the NASB version, but you should really take some time to check out other Bible translations of this verse - graphically descriptive. As in troubled bowels, distressed innards, livers upchucking on the earth, casting up gall bladders. So while I chose a 'spirit in agony' version, it was pretty much 'severe flu-like symptoms/emergency surgery' back in Jerusalem.
The book of Lamentations expresses the grief over the destruction of Jerusalem as a consequence of disobedience to God, it reminds us of the consequences of wrong choices. I have seen multiple articles this week asking "Where is God?", and I want to embrace every single soul and whisper "He is here, He is waiting for you to ask". He is waiting for us to intercede, to align our grief in prayer. No more bargaining. No more actions carried out in the heat of the moment in an effort to call his bluff. He is ever present, but He is allowing it because we allow it.
As I researched, I learned that back in the day, the liver was thought to be the seat of all passions. Graphically descriptive warning: When you vomited bile, it was thought to be a discharge of your agitated passions. Feelings entirely gave way under the "acuteness of sorrow", no longer able to be restrained.
Is that not what we are seeing in Baltimore? An acute sorrow no longer able to be restrained? Fox News reported this morning that Mr. Gray's neighborhood has a 51% unemployment rate. I speak from an all-too-familiar place: When there is no paycheck, no prospect of a paycheck on the horizon, when you spend your days scrapping for any work you can find, when you have to humbly stand in line at the food bank, when you have to humbly hand the cashier your food-stamp card to pay for groceries, when few people are available to help you get on your feet because they too are struggling in their own ways - Acute sorrow does not begin to cover it.
I am not condoning riots and looting. Theft, vandalism, and a lack of regard for another person's livelihood are what put my family in a place of acute sorrow. Destroying someone's property and income is not the answer. Riots can create another situation of poverty for a family; a family with kids; a family that is just trying to make a living the best they know how.
I do, however, have a deep compassion for the "desperate plight of my people", for the situations that cause such actions. We are all brothers and sisters in Christ, no matter where you stand on your belief in Christ at this moment, we are bound together through His creation and love for us. There is a section of America right now that is trying to get someone's attention, they are crying out, pleading, for help in ways that are so completely foreign to those of us who have always known job stability, food on the table, a non-leaking roof over our heads, brand-new clothes on our backs.
I can only speculate the level of desperation these residents are at. Stop and think about it, there is a reason we do not see rioting in middle-class and greater neighborhoods - Basic human needs are being met. I am not saying this hierarchy of America is not without trouble, I am talking basic needs of food, shelter, and clothing. A warm shower. No risk of utilities being shut-off. No risk of eminent eviction. And let's all admit it, when we feel we are wronged, we fanaticize about "an eye-for-an-eye", we pin quotes about "karma", we practice in the mirror all the things we could say to put someone back in their place.
One of my favorite God moments was in the middle of getting a tattoo and I share this story a lot. My brother bought me a tattoo for my birthday and I also used it to celebrate surviving "the incident". While in the middle of my tattoo, one of the kids that broke into our store walked in. I had been planning what I would say to any one of the three for almost six months if I ever had the chance, and here one stands, not having any idea who I am. And God, my friend, was ever present. The only way I know to describe what I felt was "a dome of peace". It seriously felt like this little bubble of warmth started at the top of my head and enveloped my body and I heard God tell me "there is nothing you can say that he would understand".
Until we can relate on some level to the desperation that is growing in our country, there is no conversation that can ease the sorrow. Until we can stop talking about the tragedy of the disparity, and put it into deliberate action, there will continue to be neighborhoods that seek to exhibit their own form of justice. They will seek to hurt simply because they are hurting. Let me encourage you to take your first deliberate action: Pray. It does not have to be long or be eloquent, IT JUST HAS TO BE. We have to start somewhere.
Lord, we pray for Chili.
Lord, we pray for Nepal.
Lord, we pray for Baltimore.
Lord, we pray for those in desperate situations, help us to intercede for their most basic needs and well-being.
Amen.
Thursday, April 30, 2015
Wednesday, April 22, 2015
Just Another Day of Getting Bopped Upside the Head...
So I started to sit down and write something yesterday, and the thing that kept coming to mind was...God Uses Frying Pans. He is totally whacking me upside the head - and He isn't using a little two-cup sauce pan, oh no sireee, he has pulled out the 15" cast-iron skillet! A more loving term, might be called Affirmation...God is affirming, day after day, after day, after day, after day, the message he wants me to absorb. Being the sweet (relative to the situation - I know), stubborn (probably won't get too many arguments there), red-head (enhanced with blond, because everyone else gets their hair did too!) that I am, I am pretty sure He decided a long time ago that a little more force was needed, and as always, God is so very right. Sometimes He gently affirms and then when we finally say "oh, I see what you were doing there", then he bops us with "Hello!? Took you long enough!".
Can we not totally relate to this? If you have kids, you have beaten many a dead horse to get a point across or have stood in defeat as another basic life lesson has floated beyond the boundary of some current reality. For example: Baseball game tomorrow - Uniform is STILL in the dirty laundry basket. From. Last. Week. I should point out here that I have not done my children's laundry for about four plus years - this has worked out AwEsOmE (pretend you are singing that word) and holds me completely unaccountable for pink underwear, lost socks, and "why does my AS new shirt from last week now fit like a 3T?". Blissful. However, things we have known about all week, i.e. forgotten uniforms...Bop. Ten o'clock at night and we need supplies for a presentation that is due in first hour...tomorrow. Bop. I didn't know your hair was red...Bop.
So here is the bop breakdown for March:
March 11 - Wednesday night CONNECT service at church: Topic of sermon: Distraction.
March 11 - (yes, same night) Speaker at Women's Bible Study: "Your blessings can be your biggest distraction".
March 13 - Chuck Swindoll: Sometimes it is a hassle to be happy, efficient, productive, AND content. Before long, it is not even on your agenda.
March 2015 InTouch article 'Stay Boldly Still': "We are prone to take action, not because we are confident men of God, but because too often, we have no confidence in God. Part of our worry is that God's purposes are different than our own. I have tried to be self-made, and all I have made of myself is a mess. I need the Lord's courage to guide me where He would have me go, to give me words to speak and silence when my words are not needed. A courage to lose this life, in order that he would save it". (I read this article 3x, and cried all 3x - in my heart, I wrote these words).
March 15 - Face to Faith Devotion: Martha was distracted by many things.
March 24 - Pursuit of His Presence Devotion: We ALLOW ourselves to become tangled in the temporary affairs of this world.
Can you visualize the frying pan each time? I sure can and my head is spinning - I wrote an "inspiration" on the topic of Distraction, because the cast-iron skillet told me to. So I don't want to share all that the month of March brought for me until after I share it with my CONNECT peeps, just wanted you to see the process of 'The Bop'.
So far in April:
-Stuffed my Nissan Armada TWICE, full-to-the-top, seats all the way down, of 'just stuff' and drove it to donate to our Annual Church Thrift Sale.
-Read Jen Hatmaker's 7: An Experimental Mutiny Against Excess (talks about poverty)
-Read Max Lucado: Live to Make a Difference (talks about poverty)
-Read Jen Hatmaker's Interuppted (talks about serving those in poverty)
-Introduced "Blessing Bags" to our CONNECT service (Google them, you will be glad you did!)
-Attended Church Basic Lay Leader training, where, I kid you not, half of God's people in my course were Food Bank Volunteers and consequently I had to share my story of having to use our local Food Bank during 'The Incident'.
-Paid $5 to get into an event to look at 'stuff' and heard " you could feed two children for two full days in Africa for that cover".
Bop, bop, bop (bop to the top - for my co-parents who survived the High School Musical Era).
So again I gently affirm with you, I have no idea where this is headed. But I do know that I have a skillet within reach and should probably be looking up recipes for humble pie.
My Pursuit of His Presence on April 17th shared Hebrews 3:14-15
'For if we are faithful to the end, trusting God just as firmly as when we first believed, we will share in all that belongs to Christ. Remember what it says: "Today when you hear His voice, don't harden your hearts as Israel did when they rebelled."'
It DOES NOT matter how you look or what you have, it matters that you obey! Let the image of Jesus come forth instead of the image you had for yourself. WHATEVER God is telling you today, or HAS BEEN telling you for sometime now - Do it! Rise up and Obey! (All Caps is my emphasis and "I hear ya, I hear ya! Awesome! Hallelujah! Amen! is all I can say).
At the start of the year, I began writing down something from each devotion I read or passage I highlighted, and I am amazed at how many times God has bopped me just in my daily reading. It is as powerful as a 15" cast-iron skillet people. It is next-level, heavy stuff and not for the faint of heart - it is a call to "lose this life, in order that He would save it" and trying to figure it all out can be, well, a little lonely, and lonely is scary. It is again, stepping out of that comfort zone.
It is easy to be the giver of the bop, but what do you do when you are the receiver of the bop?
Romans 10:14 'How shall they call on Him in whom they have not believed? And how shall they believe in Him of whom they have not heard? And how shall they hear with out a preacher?
If we don't speak, how will they hear? Who will be saved? It is crazy easy to get distracted in this world and I am holding the mirror, I get it, I do. It is beyond easy, or more honestly convenient, to think that someone else is feeding people going through hard times...but if you are reading this, maybe God is gently, affirmingly (spell check does not like my new word), bopping you on the head. Get a hold of me sometime...we will compare lumps!
Can we not totally relate to this? If you have kids, you have beaten many a dead horse to get a point across or have stood in defeat as another basic life lesson has floated beyond the boundary of some current reality. For example: Baseball game tomorrow - Uniform is STILL in the dirty laundry basket. From. Last. Week. I should point out here that I have not done my children's laundry for about four plus years - this has worked out AwEsOmE (pretend you are singing that word) and holds me completely unaccountable for pink underwear, lost socks, and "why does my AS new shirt from last week now fit like a 3T?". Blissful. However, things we have known about all week, i.e. forgotten uniforms...Bop. Ten o'clock at night and we need supplies for a presentation that is due in first hour...tomorrow. Bop. I didn't know your hair was red...Bop.
So here is the bop breakdown for March:
March 11 - Wednesday night CONNECT service at church: Topic of sermon: Distraction.
March 11 - (yes, same night) Speaker at Women's Bible Study: "Your blessings can be your biggest distraction".
March 13 - Chuck Swindoll: Sometimes it is a hassle to be happy, efficient, productive, AND content. Before long, it is not even on your agenda.
March 2015 InTouch article 'Stay Boldly Still': "We are prone to take action, not because we are confident men of God, but because too often, we have no confidence in God. Part of our worry is that God's purposes are different than our own. I have tried to be self-made, and all I have made of myself is a mess. I need the Lord's courage to guide me where He would have me go, to give me words to speak and silence when my words are not needed. A courage to lose this life, in order that he would save it". (I read this article 3x, and cried all 3x - in my heart, I wrote these words).
March 15 - Face to Faith Devotion: Martha was distracted by many things.
March 24 - Pursuit of His Presence Devotion: We ALLOW ourselves to become tangled in the temporary affairs of this world.
Can you visualize the frying pan each time? I sure can and my head is spinning - I wrote an "inspiration" on the topic of Distraction, because the cast-iron skillet told me to. So I don't want to share all that the month of March brought for me until after I share it with my CONNECT peeps, just wanted you to see the process of 'The Bop'.
So far in April:
-Stuffed my Nissan Armada TWICE, full-to-the-top, seats all the way down, of 'just stuff' and drove it to donate to our Annual Church Thrift Sale.
-Read Jen Hatmaker's 7: An Experimental Mutiny Against Excess (talks about poverty)
-Read Max Lucado: Live to Make a Difference (talks about poverty)
-Read Jen Hatmaker's Interuppted (talks about serving those in poverty)
-Introduced "Blessing Bags" to our CONNECT service (Google them, you will be glad you did!)
-Attended Church Basic Lay Leader training, where, I kid you not, half of God's people in my course were Food Bank Volunteers and consequently I had to share my story of having to use our local Food Bank during 'The Incident'.
-Paid $5 to get into an event to look at 'stuff' and heard " you could feed two children for two full days in Africa for that cover".
Bop, bop, bop (bop to the top - for my co-parents who survived the High School Musical Era).
So again I gently affirm with you, I have no idea where this is headed. But I do know that I have a skillet within reach and should probably be looking up recipes for humble pie.
My Pursuit of His Presence on April 17th shared Hebrews 3:14-15
'For if we are faithful to the end, trusting God just as firmly as when we first believed, we will share in all that belongs to Christ. Remember what it says: "Today when you hear His voice, don't harden your hearts as Israel did when they rebelled."'
It DOES NOT matter how you look or what you have, it matters that you obey! Let the image of Jesus come forth instead of the image you had for yourself. WHATEVER God is telling you today, or HAS BEEN telling you for sometime now - Do it! Rise up and Obey! (All Caps is my emphasis and "I hear ya, I hear ya! Awesome! Hallelujah! Amen! is all I can say).
At the start of the year, I began writing down something from each devotion I read or passage I highlighted, and I am amazed at how many times God has bopped me just in my daily reading. It is as powerful as a 15" cast-iron skillet people. It is next-level, heavy stuff and not for the faint of heart - it is a call to "lose this life, in order that He would save it" and trying to figure it all out can be, well, a little lonely, and lonely is scary. It is again, stepping out of that comfort zone.
It is easy to be the giver of the bop, but what do you do when you are the receiver of the bop?
Romans 10:14 'How shall they call on Him in whom they have not believed? And how shall they believe in Him of whom they have not heard? And how shall they hear with out a preacher?
If we don't speak, how will they hear? Who will be saved? It is crazy easy to get distracted in this world and I am holding the mirror, I get it, I do. It is beyond easy, or more honestly convenient, to think that someone else is feeding people going through hard times...but if you are reading this, maybe God is gently, affirmingly (spell check does not like my new word), bopping you on the head. Get a hold of me sometime...we will compare lumps!
Friday, April 17, 2015
Just Getting Started - But Not Really
I tried to start a Blog several, which in my world is like 5, years ago. That was about the time that OUR little small-town world started shaking and was reduced to dust. Hopefully, starting this Blog, does not produce the same affect on our little lives!
I feel called to share my Faith in a BIG way, but am becoming more aware each day that the SMALL ways are when He works most effectively. If I can give one half of one ounce of HOPE to one person, then my day can be check-marked a success, and if not, I will mark the box that says "try again tomorrow". I feel called to be completely ordinary, completely broken, and completely available to share how perfectly imperfect our brief lives are.
I have been on this journey for a little over three years now and everything that I have been studying, learning, and praying for is starting to reveal itself in many awesome ways. A little over two years ago, I went to listen to a Missionary from Romania, Ronald Wolthius, and he prayed over me and asked "what are you going to do with it?" and said "give it time". As someone who's Patience is the most over-ripe of the "Fruits-of-the Spirit", this was SOOOOO hard for me. But when you find your life in God, waiting is an action verb!
So this past couple of weeks, I have been reading, which probably scares my husband more than anything else I do. I had been trying to simplify and down-size our belongings that where just renting space in our lives, closets, and garage - church thrift-sale (Score!). I had saved Jen Hatmaker's book, 7, in my Kindle wish list about a year ago and it seemed appropriate to the current project that I was carrying out. My awesome (just so you know, this is my word and you will see it ALOT), supportive, and loyal husband is shaking his head about now...because I have finished that book and gone on to start a prior book of hers, Interrupted. And I may have introduced a new project at church because of these life-changing reads.
Oh, and another minor detail - there was also a small read by Max Lucado, Live to Make A Difference, that got me to thinking and praying, even before my emersion into Jen. I have been a devout reader of devotionals since "The Incident" - I will explain this in the future, but for now, know that it was the most mortifying, painful, and humbling experience of my LIFE. Any-who...devout reader of devotionals. I have been the liturgist at church, served on church committees, even filled in for 'sermons' (I prefer messages or inspirations - sermon is a TALL order), lead bible study, attended bible study and yet "Here I Am". Here. I. Am. I can read all day long, be inspired all day long, be moved to tears at the thought of singing my favorite hymn "Here I Am" all day long, but how are those things advancing His kingdom?
So this is where I find myself today: Why am I waiting for something to come to me? What can I do to take God's word and go to them? What does this look like? How can I share it on a bigger platform than my small town, Population 3500 when school is in session?
Maybe this blog will help me sort it all out, at least be able to write my thoughts a little more publicly than the Word Documents I house on my flash-drive waiting to be turned into an "inspiration". So even though I am simply getting started with this new avenue, I am really so far behind with all the scripture, witnessing, and exclamation points that have taken up residence in my brain.
I may not be moved to write everyday. I have learned that I do not want the pressure of that to guide what the Lord places on my heart. But I do hope you will stick around and see what happens with me...
Psalm 139:2 "I know when you sit down and when you rise up". Funny that this verse inspired me yesterday to have courage to rise up and get going on a blog and I am sitting down to do it! The Lord knows when we are weary and when we are ready - His timing not mine, another over-ripe lesson that I have learned.
http://smile.amazon.com/7-Experimental-Mutiny-Against-Excess/dp/1433672960/ref=sr_1_1_twi_1_pap?ie=UTF8&qid=1429289086&sr=8-1&keywords=jen+hatmaker+7
http://smile.amazon.com/Interrupted-Jesus-Wrecks-Comfortable-Christianity/dp/1631463535/ref=sr_1_1_twi_1_pap?ie=UTF8&qid=1429289112&sr=8-1&keywords=jen+hatmaker+interrupted
http://smile.amazon.com/Live-Make-Difference-Max-Lucado/dp/0849946123/ref=sr_1_1_twi_1_pap?ie=UTF8&qid=1429289144&sr=8-1&keywords=max+lucado+live+to+make+a+difference
I feel called to share my Faith in a BIG way, but am becoming more aware each day that the SMALL ways are when He works most effectively. If I can give one half of one ounce of HOPE to one person, then my day can be check-marked a success, and if not, I will mark the box that says "try again tomorrow". I feel called to be completely ordinary, completely broken, and completely available to share how perfectly imperfect our brief lives are.
I have been on this journey for a little over three years now and everything that I have been studying, learning, and praying for is starting to reveal itself in many awesome ways. A little over two years ago, I went to listen to a Missionary from Romania, Ronald Wolthius, and he prayed over me and asked "what are you going to do with it?" and said "give it time". As someone who's Patience is the most over-ripe of the "Fruits-of-the Spirit", this was SOOOOO hard for me. But when you find your life in God, waiting is an action verb!
So this past couple of weeks, I have been reading, which probably scares my husband more than anything else I do. I had been trying to simplify and down-size our belongings that where just renting space in our lives, closets, and garage - church thrift-sale (Score!). I had saved Jen Hatmaker's book, 7, in my Kindle wish list about a year ago and it seemed appropriate to the current project that I was carrying out. My awesome (just so you know, this is my word and you will see it ALOT), supportive, and loyal husband is shaking his head about now...because I have finished that book and gone on to start a prior book of hers, Interrupted. And I may have introduced a new project at church because of these life-changing reads.
Oh, and another minor detail - there was also a small read by Max Lucado, Live to Make A Difference, that got me to thinking and praying, even before my emersion into Jen. I have been a devout reader of devotionals since "The Incident" - I will explain this in the future, but for now, know that it was the most mortifying, painful, and humbling experience of my LIFE. Any-who...devout reader of devotionals. I have been the liturgist at church, served on church committees, even filled in for 'sermons' (I prefer messages or inspirations - sermon is a TALL order), lead bible study, attended bible study and yet "Here I Am". Here. I. Am. I can read all day long, be inspired all day long, be moved to tears at the thought of singing my favorite hymn "Here I Am" all day long, but how are those things advancing His kingdom?
So this is where I find myself today: Why am I waiting for something to come to me? What can I do to take God's word and go to them? What does this look like? How can I share it on a bigger platform than my small town, Population 3500 when school is in session?
Maybe this blog will help me sort it all out, at least be able to write my thoughts a little more publicly than the Word Documents I house on my flash-drive waiting to be turned into an "inspiration". So even though I am simply getting started with this new avenue, I am really so far behind with all the scripture, witnessing, and exclamation points that have taken up residence in my brain.
I may not be moved to write everyday. I have learned that I do not want the pressure of that to guide what the Lord places on my heart. But I do hope you will stick around and see what happens with me...
Psalm 139:2 "I know when you sit down and when you rise up". Funny that this verse inspired me yesterday to have courage to rise up and get going on a blog and I am sitting down to do it! The Lord knows when we are weary and when we are ready - His timing not mine, another over-ripe lesson that I have learned.
http://smile.amazon.com/7-Experimental-Mutiny-Against-Excess/dp/1433672960/ref=sr_1_1_twi_1_pap?ie=UTF8&qid=1429289086&sr=8-1&keywords=jen+hatmaker+7
http://smile.amazon.com/Interrupted-Jesus-Wrecks-Comfortable-Christianity/dp/1631463535/ref=sr_1_1_twi_1_pap?ie=UTF8&qid=1429289112&sr=8-1&keywords=jen+hatmaker+interrupted
http://smile.amazon.com/Live-Make-Difference-Max-Lucado/dp/0849946123/ref=sr_1_1_twi_1_pap?ie=UTF8&qid=1429289144&sr=8-1&keywords=max+lucado+live+to+make+a+difference
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