Yesterday as I was getting ready to leave for work, I heard the clink of cereal hitting the sides of the bowl as my daughter prepared her morning meal. I cautiously stepped into the kitchen and hesitated as I informed her we were out of milk. I got the look I was expecting, but was quite impressed that no morsel of (store brand) Captain Crunch was wasted as it was hotly poured back into the box. "We have nothing to eat". Mind you, we were out of bread and milk...and this in my home constitutes "nothing to eat".
I did some calm and patient diversion to "why don't you cook some eggs" - which is a HUGE step for me before 9:00 and sans coffee. And as I walked out to my car I was doing my very morning best to not let her huffiness get the best of me.
At 8:50 I get a text from my daughter, expecting it to say "I cooked some gooooood eggs this morning" and instead I get "A girl at our school passed away this morning. They think she may have committed suicide. :(" My girl is this amazing mix of her dad and me, I see so much of him in her personality. But from me, she did get the 'strong front' and deep in my mommy bones, I could tell there would be no front...this was affecting her.
And I found myself going back to my morning and so thankful to share a moment 'discussing' breakfast with my daughter. Because somewhere in our small town, sat a mother who did not get the same opportunity on a foggy Thursday in September.
John 11:35 Then Jesus wept.
This verse finds Jesus entering the crowd after Lazurus' death. There is much grief in the air and finger pointing at Jesus. I think Jesus weeps for a couple of reasons. I think there is so much sadness in the air that He Himself is overcome. But I think, equally, He is is weeping because the people just.don't.get.it...If they really believed that He is who He says He is, then why do they not expect Him to perform a miracle? They (we) say they (we) believe, but when it comes down to tragedy and earthly situations, where do they (we) really stand? Jesus weeps because He is angry at their lackadaisical approach to their salvation. I can totally relate to crying when I am mad, and then I get mad that I am mad enough to cry and cry worse...
As the community gathered last night to pray for the family, my heart was warmed by the variety of students and churches in attendance. We are not meant to understand God's ways, and that is really really hard for us...but we can rest peacefully that He will work ALL things for His good. And I pray that He starts with the youth in our community. I pray that he breaks down denominational walls and brings us all together to be a living example of His love.
I pray that this tragedy is a catalyst for real conversations, for brokenness to be acknowledged and for it to start with us, right here, right now. That survivors guilt will float to the surface and be rescued by friends and family making a deliberate choice to be the hands and feet of Christ. That those seeking answers will seek the open doors of the church and the open arms of God.
Our Pastor had last night's service planned out before she could have known of yesterday's events, but I felt like the whole service, from the music, to the reading from James, to the message, it all could have applied to what our town was experiencing. The entire 45 minutes focused on using our words to build people up, speaking in kindness, and the power of the tongue.
As I scrolled through Facebook this morning, I saw a High School classmate that became a teacher and she talked of setting out each day to pay a compliment to the special needs kids in her school. And today she walked in the door and one of them came up and gave her a running hug. The parent approached her and said "she never does that to people, but she said she knew you". One life at a time people...one moment at a time, one day at time, one kind word at a time.
Speak love, speak kindness, speak encouragement, speak support...be THAT PERSON that makes all the difference to someone.
Here is one of the songs from last night that really affected me, it has always been one of my favorites, but now it means a little more...I ask for prayers for our students and for the empty chair that was left at our high school this week.
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