Does Not Wait Well...

When I sit down to write, I really want encouragement,  upliftedness, and God's promise to shine through.  And in all honesty, some days, that is a little more difficult to pen to words.  I can sit here today and laugh, that last week, I was having a heart struggle on what to share, and then Friday, February 26th came at me and this week has been more mix and match than the last.

I shared my testimony a couple of weeks ago, and I know now, that I needed to do that, if for nothing else, as a reminder of His goodness in my life.  Because as of the 26th, I am walking a new chapter in that testimony.

I can now claim "oil-field casualty" on my resume.  As I left work last Friday at 10:00 am with my final check in my hand, I plopped down into my driver seat and asked "Lord, what in the world are you up to?".  Which also translates into:  What in the actual world just happened?  What does this mean?  Why?  Where are you taking me?  What could possibly be better than what I am being forced away from?  And the bronze plate on my heart that reads "Lacks Patience.  Despises Uncertainty.  Does Not Wait Well".

And here is my upliftedness (yes I made that word up, and no, spellcheck does not like it):  It is going to be okay, deep down in the ocean of my heart, in the river of tears, and the drying of my cheeks...This is going to be so much better than what I could have planned for myself.  And I want you to know that I BELIEVE that with EVERY fiber of my being.  My HOPE and FUTURE is planned by the big man upstairs and we have had many conversations the past seven days.  

Saturday, the 27th's mantra was:

Be still and know that I am God.  Psalm 46:10  

Anytime I allowed myself to think past the moment, "be still", was whispered on my heart.  

And moving forward I am  heart engraving Isaiah 41:10 - So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed for I am your God.  I will strengthen you and help you, I will up hold you with my righteous right hand.  

Things have been and could be worse.  And I am not going to lie to you or God, I yearn for the day when they are so much better.  However:

1. I survived layoffs about 12 months longer than a multitude of oil-field workers.  

2. My last check will get us by for a few weeks without the urgency and gut instinct to "panic".  

3. I have amazing people in my life, from my immediate family, to bible study friends, to baseball moms, to fabulous former neighbors, my mom, my pastor, my dog.  The timely messages and conversations bring happy salt water to my face.

4. Not sure if this is a joy or irritation - but I have put a bra and makeup on every flippin' day this week.  I have had something to do, to keep my mind busy all week, to get me out of the house every day.  The thrifty me wants to save on make-up and gas and set the captives free, but the "oh, I could totally wallow in this" is so relieved for something to do.

5. I have spoiled my family this week.  I have cooked outside of the same-old, standard, quick go-to's.  I have picked up for lunch, ran errands, and probably been more readily available for them overall.  I guess I will leave it up to God if He wants them to get used to this or not...

5.  There are several unspoken blessings that came from this, if you add me to your prayers, please remember to thank God for these lights in our tunnel.

Our WBS study is on the Fruits of the Spirit this Spring, and God, I know was holding back several giggles Wednesday as He watched us women battle through the lesson on................Patience.  You are hilarious Lord Jesus...

But, oh, I needed to laugh.  I needed to admit that I do not wait well.  I needed to hear, that not many of us do.  I want to, I desire to wait well...God will give you the desires of you heart.  I hope He realizes that I am okay with an apprenticeship, and have no need to be a master!

I love you all.  Thank you for reading.  Thank you for being so kind and compassionate when I posted my testimony.  Thank you to all of you who I let in this past week who have offered me your shadow, smiles, and moments out of your day.  

This too shall pass...