Spiritually, I feel like I have been stuck in neutral/on cruise control for awhile now, and I am THANKFUL for that and praise God for life just getting to be life with no speed bumps for a brief moment. My Women's Bible Study group has been studying Sermon on the Mount: Living for God's Kingdom by Miles Custis and it appears that this book is just what I need to put things back into forward motion, even though I have had to hit the breaks and take a harsh look at how I approach a few intersections.
A little road (heart) construction that I have had to slow down for on this current trip:
1. I struggle with mean people. It is hard to be pure in heart, a peacemaker, and extend mercy to people that are just not very nice. I am not good at it. AT ALL. Our group noted that there is a difference between being a "peacemaker" and a "peacekeeper". Sometimes all we need to do is extend the love of God and address a situation with a kind-heart from both perspectives. How the situation is handled by someone else, is their choice. It is their choice to forgive, to operate out of kindness, or it is their choice to over-think it and hang on to the animosity and hurt.
God kicked this contemplation into first-gear in one of my devotionals later that week: Some believers wear themselves out trying to make the Word of God pass. That is not our job! Our job is not to make things happen. Our job is to let the Word abide in us. Our job is to abide in Jesus; to replace our own thoughts with His thoughts - to speak and act in line with His word.
2. Love one another (your neighbor and your enemy). Our group talked about this simple commandment. So easy, yet so hard at the exact same time. If every single one of us lived each day out of love, there would be no need for laws. There would be no murder, adultery, thievery...because if you love someone, you would never do those things. The law also gives us a baseline to pass judgment. We think we are above someone if we are abiding in the law while they are recklessly abandoning the law. Our study tells us that "Jesus cares less about the specific written laws and more about our hearts and how we treat one another".
Your enemies and persecutors have similar agendas, and that is 'to discredit you'. They do not operate out of love and boy-oh-boy do they need out prayers. And have you ever noticed, that they tend to hang out with like-minds? But we can do the same thing - moving into second-gear from my devotional that week: We can't fellowship with the world and live like an overcomer. We get strength from one another, but we also get weakness from one another. To grow strong, we have to find others who are strong (stronger than us is preferable!) in the Lord.
My struggle here is showing love to people who sometimes aren't that loveable. I have to pray hard for God to clear my mind of the frustration and irritation and allow me to offer up a sincere prayer for them. Sometimes that is all we can do is pray for them and wait patiently while God works on their hearts and softens ours. And honestly, I could throw a terrible-two's tantrum right here "I don't wanna", "I caaaaan't dooo iiiit", "it's haaaard", "whhhhyyyy???". If you have kids, you totally want to jerk me up by the arm right now and pop me on the butt. Don't think that God doesn't want to do that to us too when we fight showing love to someone when love is what they need the most. And yet God sets the example and loves us, even when we aren't very loveable...
3. Loving others as you love yourself. For starters, you have to love yourself. Christ lives in each and every one of us, so to love Him is to love ourselves/others and vice versa. We should talk to ourselves and others as if we are talking to Christ.
Matt 5:48 (MSG) You are kingdom subjects. Now live like it! Live out your God-created identity. Generously and graciously toward others.
And third-gear on the devotional highway: Jesus did not walk around meeting the needs of everyone he met, he sought out those of Faith. Faith and receiving are intimately connected. God has provided, but you have to receive it.
Just as first-gear put it, it is not our job to make it all work. We extend the Word of God and we seek out those who are ready to receive. If someone is not ready to join the faith walk, no matter what you say or do, you will not make them understand the road you are on in your journey. It is up to God to lift their visor.
4. What we think should be our comfort zone isn't all that comfortable sometimes. Growing up in a small town, and currently living in a small town, I return to this verse frequently when I am sad or frustrated:
Mark 6:4-6 (MSG) Jesus told them, “A prophet has little honor in his hometown, among his relatives, on the streets he played in as a child.” Jesus wasn’t able to do much of anything there—he laid hands on a few sick people and healed them, that’s all. He couldn’t get over their stubbornness. He left and made a circuit of the other villages, teaching.
Mark 6:4-6 (NASB) Jesus said to them, "A prophet is not without honor except in his hometown and among his own relatives and in his own household." 5And He could do no miracle there except that He laid His hands on a few sick people and healed them. 6And He wondered at their unbelief. And He was going around the villages teaching.
Um...if Jesus couldn't make everyone believe, then that is a tall order to put on ourselves! I like the subtle differences in the versions here. It is hard for us to rise above our past with people in our hometown, with our own relatives, with childhood friends. People are stubborn and will not believe you. And often, we have to go outside of where we currently are to make the greatest impact.
I have struggled (full of fear is more like it!) to share my testimony locally because I am not sure I can break through what people think they know about my story (nor will I be able to make it through without ugly crying). But I have prayed about it and I have to put it out there. It is not up to me what others choose to believe or not believe, that is up to God. I only need to pack some tissues...
We can not allow ourselves to stall out waiting for someone else to get in the car. It only discourages us and provides a window of self-doubt for us to escape out of. Do what He commands us to do, let Him sort out the detours, the drop-offs, and the ride-alongs. God didn't promise that the road would be quiet and straight - the ups and downs, twists and turns, and middle-of-no-wheres are what make the final destination all the sweeter. Enjoy the smooth stretches, but be prepared for the real ride!
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