I got a NEW CAR!! It is the cutest little thing...it is a Nissan Juke and it gets double the gas mileage of my last car, lessened our monthly car payment considerably, and is perfect for getting back and forth to work. Sounds like a responsible move, right? And it was...kind of. Probably a little pre-mid-life-crisis with its sunroof, rear spoiler, black exterior and interior, and TURBO engine...kind of responsible, kind of not.
I don't know about you, but I always stress about big purchases. Big purchases are especially hard on us since our life-altering incident almost four years ago. But God totally revealed Himself to me and continues to encourage me to share my story in the most random of places, i.e. new car lots.
I had found a Juke locally, but it didn't quite have all the features I wanted and as I started to look, I discovered I could get a brand-new Juke for a little over the price of a used one, which are hard to find. So I hit the inter-web and found a new one about an hour a way, and it had everything I wanted aside from the sunroof. Then I found another dealer in the opposite direction that had three on the lot that had everything I wanted. It also happened to be in the same town that my son was playing baseball in for the weekend. So I made a phone call, put on my big girl britches, and headed to the dealer.
I did not get the trade-in price I wanted (of course) but was still in the payment range I wanted to be, so I sealed the deal with a good old-fashion hand-shake. Now the scary part. Financing. As I sat there with this woman, I noticed the Finance Department schedule on the wall. There are five staff and they take rotating days off and work weird shifts, no 8-5 in the FD. I had just caught her toward the end of her shift. As she pulled up our credit history, I got a little clammy and sweaty and wanted to throw up and abort the entire plan. She said "you all have done really well since your bankruptcy". And for whatever reason, I felt entirely compelled to tell her (word vomit) the story of getting our store broken into...twice...and the fallout that ensued. At this moment, I am completely tear-free and a little beside myself as to why I am pouring out my heart to this stranger who holds the fate of my maybe-new-car in her hands.
Here I am at one of three dealers, with a woman about to end her shift, and she tells me that 15 years earlier, she and her husband owned a grocery store and it was broken in to. She said they stole every last item that contained or was linked to nicotine. They took every last gallon of milk and spilled it all over the store - sour milk on every isle. They took every last carton of eggs and egged the entire store. Similar to us, they had a shady initial business deal and less-than-adequate insurance for an event of this nature. And they had to file for bankruptcy. If you think that God doesn't place you exactly where you need to be, with someone that needs to hear your story, and with someone you need to hear from to know that you are 100% not alone in this world, then you and I need to go grab some sort of beverage and hash out some things.
The bank that picked up the Juke loan was doing so at an INSANE interest rate and again the lump in my throat threatened to abort the deal. And she looked at me and smiled and said "I'm going to call the owner (of the dealership!), you all need a break". And so she did. And so our interest rate got cut over 6% and they added a full 7-year warranty on top of that, and my first oil change is FREE (love that word), and I got three FREE air-freshners and an extra set of floor mats! So the tears are now flowing (with her and as I type this). Because it is supercrazyinsanescary (spell check is having a terrible time with that one) to put yourself out there, to bare your soul and (very public) humiliation, to be completely real about your failures and await a verdict. And out of all the choices I could have made that week, I am sitting here with someone that doesn't just have compassion for our situation, she can RELATE!
And I hear God say through my tears "you have to stop being afraid to share this story, people need each other". I explained to her through my "ugly-crying" how hard it was to share my testimony and how I had really been struggling because I didn't want to be judged or criticized (read: chicken, avoider, detour, selfish). How I had bit the bullet and agreed to share it at the upcoming Wednesday service. How God knew that I needed to "test it out" on someone so that He could affirm that yes...yes...this is for My good.
So I don't mean to brag about getting a new car (kind of), it is not the car, but the story around it that I want to share. I always tell my kiddos that if we involve God, the process makes a way. It may have some ups and downs, but the final say is oh.so.good.
1 Timothy 6:12 Fight the good fight of faith; take hold of the eternal life to which you were called, and you made the good confession in the presence of many witnesses.
I am learning, sometimes at a turtle pace, that I can only be me. I can only put the story out there, I can't be responsible for how someone interprets it. I can only put the good out there, I can't be responsible for what someone does with it. I can only be me, I can't be responsible for the 'like' or 'unlike' button. We all have these normal backgrounds that are anything but. The equally normal thing about our stories is that they are messy, chaotic, tragic, triumphant, courageous, persevering, intertwined and most assuredly remain unwritten...
So when you see me zipping around town in my pre-mid-life-crisis car, know that God is truly everywhere, even schmarmy new car dealerships. Know that if you have something placed on your heart, it is not there by accident. And most importantly, know that you are not alone in your story, but if you choose to keep it to yourself, you will miss out on potentially some of the most heart-warming, albeit awkward, moments to cry and rejoice in the exact places, at just the right times.
AMEN and AMEN!
Love how God works. Thanks for sharing.
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