John 6:64-66 But there are some of you who do not believe. For Jesus knew from the beginning who they were who did not believe, and who it was who would betray Him. And He was saying, "For this reason I have said to you, that no one can come to me, unless it has been granted him by the Father". As a result of this, many of His disciples withdrew and were not walking with Him anymore.
Holy Cow Y'all! Did you know that there were way more than 'THE 12' Disciples early on and they decided they couldn't hang with Jesus and left? The walked away from JESUS! This brought me to a couple of thoughts 1. I wonder if they ever looked back and questioned that decision!?! and 2. Okay, I can really let it go if someone doesn't want to be around me or click with who I am...because, um, yeah, people walked away from JESUS!
It brings me so much comfort because at any given time, I could fill my spare time with the following support groups and I am sure my family could think of many more (titles are of my own whimsical enticement):
1. For the Love of Internal Organs - Do I Need a Gall Bladder or Not?
2. How to Live as an Outgoing Introvert with mild OCD, Anxiety, Passion, and Depression
3. Back Away From the Brownies
4. Nothing is Wrong, I Just Want to Be Quiet
5. I LOVE Having Deep Encouraging Conversations About Faith
6. I Forgive Them, But I Don't Want Them In My Life
7. Addicted to Inspirational Quotes Anonymous (particularly on Pinterest)
8. I Mainly Want to Win the Lottery to Do Good In the World (Mostly)
9. Aspiring Authors and Motivational Speakers
10. Yes, Yes, I Do Need to Pray More
I am exactly who God made me to be, and some people will be able to accept me the way I am and keep on keeping on with me. I am an Introvert with a lot of self-confidence, tons of passion and compassion - but I don't want everyone to know. When I commit to something, I am usually all-in and burn myself out quickly - I am working on this. I have always been a rooter for the underdog. When I feel comfortable enough to share something that I am going through with someone, I really NEED them to let me be self-absorbed in that moment - I gotta let it out, then I promise I will move on. My personality is such, that if I lose trust in you, it takes scaling Mt. Everest to win it back - I can forgive you, but not confide in you.
When we were losing our store a few years ago, I learned so much about people. The people that walked away stunned me, the (few) people that remained astounded me, and who has come since has taught me the very most about authenticity and unconditional acceptance and friendship - like tearing up thinking about you right this very second. And just as John wrote above, Jesus knew. He knew who in His circle believed and could embrace the journey. And in my life, He knows who I need to attend my support groups with and who will walk away and form their own. And it is so okay...
I am so thankful that Jesus was human. That everything we go through, He also experienced. He was judged, abandoned, gossiped about, encouraged to tone-it-down-a-notch, drug back to be with a mass of people when all He wanted was some quiet time, and He walked with Judas when He knew...He knew what Judas would do. And my lack of gall bladder is nothing compared to His physical pain on the Cross.
I attended a state leadership meeting over the summer that has local community groups all over the nation. They encouraged us to embrace and spend energy on the people who are attending meetings and activities. The facilitator asked "Why are you exhausting yourself on people who don't want to be with you?...Grow strong roots with who is there.". And that can totally be applied to our lives - we have to learn (pray about how) to be okay with who is not here and climb tall trees with those that are. It is definitely a beautiful adventure with many branches, tire swings, and gentle breezes.
Thank you for walking with me on this journey and humoring support group #7 today!
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