Woo-to-the-Hoo! It is finally here and this will be the absolute longest day of work in my life until I can get home, reserve my spot on the sofa, grab a glass of wine and my Kindle and some Kleenex, and dive in to some serious mom stories.
The Mom Quilt is a book compilation of different experiences of motherhood...different experiences, but hopefully some so similar that your heart will be moved to laugh, cry, frown, and smile at the ladies holding up a mirror to your soul. Becky Mansfield, Paula Rollo, and Jodi Durr put out a request for stories, and I have a feeling they have received so much more!
100% of the profits from this E-Book will go to www.MercyHouseKenya.org (thank you Kristen Welch!) to provide a water well for the Women of Mercy House. It is E-Book only at this time in order to maximize our efforts and surpass the $40,000 goal set to build the well.
Our submissions were 1500 to 2000 words and around 60 were published in the E-Book. Some of you know that my own mother was a young mother of 17 when she had me and I chose to write what a foundation for my future that experience was for me (Check out Page 128). It is a tall order to make your mom proud, and your daughter, and slowly learning...myself.
My hope is not only that you will purchase the E-Book, but that you consider an extra donation to Mercy House, shop Mercy House, pray for Mercy House, and of course encourage others to do all of the above as well!
I have shared what a chicken I was about this submission and the call from God to obey. I am humbled and honored to be a part of this project. May you be blessed by the blessing you are giving of clean water to women in Kenya.
You can purchase your E-Book at the following link:
https://www.e-junkie.com/ecom/gb.php?c=cart&i=1445034&cl=298991&ejc=2
Monday, August 10, 2015
Tuesday, August 4, 2015
Are We Really "Fine"?
Sometimes we say things because it is more of a habit. We say things that we are accustomed to saying but do not really have any meaning behind what is said. For example: Passing someone at the grocery store "Hi, how are you?", "fine, and you?" (said with a smile and never breaking stride). It is habit. Are we honestly prepared standing in the middle of the potatoes and onions to commit to how we are "really doing" or to stand with an earnest ear to what may go well beyond "fine"?
Some of you may know that we are a baseball family - like forfeit nice vacations, void sleeping-in on the weekends, tons of dirt in my washing machine, weekend diet of processed foods, sunflower seeds, and bottled water kind of family. And every year that we travel with my son's team, we add another baseball family to our family, it keeps growing. Our solid maple, pine tar on the trunk family tree has many branches.
We had a family join us this weekend that we haven't played with in a couple of years. And as the weekend came to an end and we parted ways, I said "love you guys". It just came out, not really as something I say out of habit, and I got a little choked up because...I totally meant it. I love them. All four of them. I love their unpretentious kind hearts, their genuine friendship, their eagerness to help out when the call is made, and their ability to pick up right where the bat was dropped.
We visited my grandparents a couple of weekends ago, my cousins were in and we all got together for lunch. And as my grandma called us to eat, we stood in a circle and grasped each others hands and my grandpa began to pray. And I was overcome with such emotion. I didn't want to be "that person" that was weeping at a simple prayer over a simple meal prepared by many hands, so I swallowed...hard...that lump in my throat. Overwhelmed with how much I love that man, how I love to hear him pray, and overcome when asking God "how many more times might I get to hear him pray Lord?".
And why can't I allow myself to be "that person" who has heart-to-hearts while selecting a head of lettuce, who cries when her grandpa prays? It is habit for me to stand strong and appear "fine". I want to work on being more of the person that without shame blurts out "love you" and sheds happy tears when someone she loves prays over a meal. I want to be so moved by God to be who He created me to be with no reservations. My May Insight Devotional says:
We may feel alone when we are up to bat at the plate, but we have a whole team, a family, standing at the fence cheering us on. We just have to be willing to watch some balls go by and take a couple of strikes before putting ourselves on base. There is no such thing as perfection in baseball, or in life. It takes tremendous courage to put ourselves out there and know that we may "appear to fail" more than 50% of the time.
Hebrews 3:13 But encourage one another day after day, as long as it is still called "today", so that none of you will be hardened by the deceitfulness of sin.
Satan is a manipulator - he wants us to think that our sacrifices aren't worth it, that we aren't brave in our choices, and sometimes, merely, that everything is "fine". But when we are around people that encourage us daily, weekendly, familiarly, unassumingly, and humbly...We can love like my boys love baseball, we can watch our friends walk away knowing that that are family, and we can shed happy tears when we pray over our produce.
May you have an encounter this week that leaves you feeling like you hit one over the fence! Amen.
Some of you may know that we are a baseball family - like forfeit nice vacations, void sleeping-in on the weekends, tons of dirt in my washing machine, weekend diet of processed foods, sunflower seeds, and bottled water kind of family. And every year that we travel with my son's team, we add another baseball family to our family, it keeps growing. Our solid maple, pine tar on the trunk family tree has many branches.
We had a family join us this weekend that we haven't played with in a couple of years. And as the weekend came to an end and we parted ways, I said "love you guys". It just came out, not really as something I say out of habit, and I got a little choked up because...I totally meant it. I love them. All four of them. I love their unpretentious kind hearts, their genuine friendship, their eagerness to help out when the call is made, and their ability to pick up right where the bat was dropped.
We visited my grandparents a couple of weekends ago, my cousins were in and we all got together for lunch. And as my grandma called us to eat, we stood in a circle and grasped each others hands and my grandpa began to pray. And I was overcome with such emotion. I didn't want to be "that person" that was weeping at a simple prayer over a simple meal prepared by many hands, so I swallowed...hard...that lump in my throat. Overwhelmed with how much I love that man, how I love to hear him pray, and overcome when asking God "how many more times might I get to hear him pray Lord?".
And why can't I allow myself to be "that person" who has heart-to-hearts while selecting a head of lettuce, who cries when her grandpa prays? It is habit for me to stand strong and appear "fine". I want to work on being more of the person that without shame blurts out "love you" and sheds happy tears when someone she loves prays over a meal. I want to be so moved by God to be who He created me to be with no reservations. My May Insight Devotional says:
Human beings are not designed to walk through the world alone. We are made for relationship, which God gladly supplies. We are both independent and interdependent, each needing others in order to function well. We require support from our brothers and sisters in Christ.
We may feel alone when we are up to bat at the plate, but we have a whole team, a family, standing at the fence cheering us on. We just have to be willing to watch some balls go by and take a couple of strikes before putting ourselves on base. There is no such thing as perfection in baseball, or in life. It takes tremendous courage to put ourselves out there and know that we may "appear to fail" more than 50% of the time.
Hebrews 3:13 But encourage one another day after day, as long as it is still called "today", so that none of you will be hardened by the deceitfulness of sin.
Satan is a manipulator - he wants us to think that our sacrifices aren't worth it, that we aren't brave in our choices, and sometimes, merely, that everything is "fine". But when we are around people that encourage us daily, weekendly, familiarly, unassumingly, and humbly...We can love like my boys love baseball, we can watch our friends walk away knowing that that are family, and we can shed happy tears when we pray over our produce.
May you have an encounter this week that leaves you feeling like you hit one over the fence! Amen.
Thursday, July 23, 2015
Choosing Rest in a Life Full of Distractions
Last night at church I spoke about distractions, and choices, and what we allow to continue in our lives. We live in a society that tends to determine self-worth by how full our calendars are, how many organizations we are involved in, and how many followers we have on social media. We tend to get wrapped around doing, being, becoming, presenting, involving, self-promoting...that we rarely enable our little selves an opportunity to rest. Resting is for people who are lazy, who don't have a social life, who don't have any energy, therefore must have something medically wrong with them and maybe you should see a doctor about that...because oh dear mercy, what if resting is contagious?! "Ain't nobody got time for that!"
Luke 10:38-42 Now as they were traveling along, He entered a village; and a woman named Martha welcomed Him into her home. She had a sister called Mary, who was seated at the Lord's feet, listening to His word. But Martha was distracted with all her preparations; and she came up to Him and said, "Lord, do You not care that my sister has left me to do all the serving alone? Then tell her to help me." But the Lord answered and said to her, "Martha, Martha, you are worried and bothered about so many things; but only one thing is necessary, for Mary has chosen the good part, which shall not be taken away from her."
Last week I was a Jonah. This week I am a Martha. I love to plan and organize and, hopefully, pull off a successful event, gathering, party, bible-study, etc. And very much like Martha, I get a little (sometimes a lot) irritated when I don't feel that others pull their weight (that's not on them, that is 100% on me). I struggle with perfectionism and a pretty healthy dose of social anxiety...at the same time. So if you will, I love the preparation and the excitement and the anticipation of picking out the right menu, drinks, and paper goods...but when the bell tolls, I struggle with nausea, sweaty armpits, and superficial conversation. I want to host you, but not necessarily talk to you...and yes, I have tried medication.
And Luke here is giving us a total and absolute free invitation to the party. QUIT worrying about so many things - Sit at the Lord's feet, CHOOSE the good part, only ONE THING is necessary. All the fluff and preparation isn't what is important, it is the quality time, the ability to stop and give God/someone/anyone your undivided attention. And the meaningful conversation. I do not think Jesus stopped and stayed at Martha's to talk about the weather, what He had for lunch, or the new shoe store on the corner. We see in this chapter that Jesus has just sent out the seventy disciples, Satan's walls are falling, and we are gifted the story of the Good Samaritan. Jesus pauses at Martha's to rejoice in the kingdom's successes, to impart a shared mission, to clear the distractions of daily duties and say "rest, we are all in this together, this ONE thing will keep us going".
ONE thing is all that is needed. How many things do we fill our days with? What is pulling us away from the ONE thing that we desperately need weekly, daily, hourly, minutely in our lives? What keeps us from deliberate time with God?
I know it sounds silly, but we need to put Him on our calendar. Consider it a challenge to work Him into your day, maybe after a while we can begin to work our day around Him. We talked last night about happiness not being on our agenda, true authentic happiness...pencil it in people if that is what it takes. Sacrifice ten minutes of your morning to start with...I know, I know, I am talking about resting and now I am asking you to wake up ten minutes earlier...or 20? Ten to wake up and ten for authentic prayer, or maybe that is just me 'cause in the morning, God is probably the only one in my house that wants to talk to me! Here is a suggestion for each minute:
1. Thank Him for your health and the health of your family.
2. Pray for those whose health is not optimal right now.
3. Thank Him for food in your cabinets and in your fridge.
4. Pray for those who do not have enough to eat, locally and abroad.
5. Thank Him for a roof over your head and all the luxuries you are afforded.
6. Pray for those who do not have adequate shelter or clothing.
7. Thank Him for his crazy good mercy and undeserved forgiveness.
8. Pray for your sins..throw them out there. Admit your distractions and weaknesses.
9. Praise Him for all His goodness - jobs, friends, family, transportation, freedoms, (coffee) etc.
10. Ask Him where He needs you to go, ask for acceptance of where you are.
You do not even have to talk or force words for the full minute. Say what you need to say and then sit at His feet quietly before moving on.
Let's quit being distracted by all things we can't do or get to throughout the day, and start focusing on what we can accomplish. Let's pencil in happiness and rest and time with God and while we are at it, why don't we check that box on the calendar that makes it an All Day Event? Let's stop preparing for conversations and unassumingly CHOOSE the one good thing that can't be taken away...there is no prescription better than that!
**Side note: While I was trying to type this, I got a call from the hubs that the modem was out on the house. So I spent 18 minutes on the phone with the provider trying to figure out why. Also, another loose neighbor dog in the backyard and a call to Animal Control. A guy at work called looking for a check and the hubs made me laugh so hard, I realized I had to go to the bathroom. Life happens, oh, life happens.**
**Blog update from last week: My submission was accepted!! I am honored, excited, and humbled to be a part of raising money for www.mercyhousekenya.com through my contribution to their upcoming book. I look forward to sharing more information on it as publication draws near.**
Luke 10:38-42 Now as they were traveling along, He entered a village; and a woman named Martha welcomed Him into her home. She had a sister called Mary, who was seated at the Lord's feet, listening to His word. But Martha was distracted with all her preparations; and she came up to Him and said, "Lord, do You not care that my sister has left me to do all the serving alone? Then tell her to help me." But the Lord answered and said to her, "Martha, Martha, you are worried and bothered about so many things; but only one thing is necessary, for Mary has chosen the good part, which shall not be taken away from her."
Last week I was a Jonah. This week I am a Martha. I love to plan and organize and, hopefully, pull off a successful event, gathering, party, bible-study, etc. And very much like Martha, I get a little (sometimes a lot) irritated when I don't feel that others pull their weight (that's not on them, that is 100% on me). I struggle with perfectionism and a pretty healthy dose of social anxiety...at the same time. So if you will, I love the preparation and the excitement and the anticipation of picking out the right menu, drinks, and paper goods...but when the bell tolls, I struggle with nausea, sweaty armpits, and superficial conversation. I want to host you, but not necessarily talk to you...and yes, I have tried medication.
And Luke here is giving us a total and absolute free invitation to the party. QUIT worrying about so many things - Sit at the Lord's feet, CHOOSE the good part, only ONE THING is necessary. All the fluff and preparation isn't what is important, it is the quality time, the ability to stop and give God/someone/anyone your undivided attention. And the meaningful conversation. I do not think Jesus stopped and stayed at Martha's to talk about the weather, what He had for lunch, or the new shoe store on the corner. We see in this chapter that Jesus has just sent out the seventy disciples, Satan's walls are falling, and we are gifted the story of the Good Samaritan. Jesus pauses at Martha's to rejoice in the kingdom's successes, to impart a shared mission, to clear the distractions of daily duties and say "rest, we are all in this together, this ONE thing will keep us going".
ONE thing is all that is needed. How many things do we fill our days with? What is pulling us away from the ONE thing that we desperately need weekly, daily, hourly, minutely in our lives? What keeps us from deliberate time with God?
I know it sounds silly, but we need to put Him on our calendar. Consider it a challenge to work Him into your day, maybe after a while we can begin to work our day around Him. We talked last night about happiness not being on our agenda, true authentic happiness...pencil it in people if that is what it takes. Sacrifice ten minutes of your morning to start with...I know, I know, I am talking about resting and now I am asking you to wake up ten minutes earlier...or 20? Ten to wake up and ten for authentic prayer, or maybe that is just me 'cause in the morning, God is probably the only one in my house that wants to talk to me! Here is a suggestion for each minute:
1. Thank Him for your health and the health of your family.
2. Pray for those whose health is not optimal right now.
3. Thank Him for food in your cabinets and in your fridge.
4. Pray for those who do not have enough to eat, locally and abroad.
5. Thank Him for a roof over your head and all the luxuries you are afforded.
6. Pray for those who do not have adequate shelter or clothing.
7. Thank Him for his crazy good mercy and undeserved forgiveness.
8. Pray for your sins..throw them out there. Admit your distractions and weaknesses.
9. Praise Him for all His goodness - jobs, friends, family, transportation, freedoms, (coffee) etc.
10. Ask Him where He needs you to go, ask for acceptance of where you are.
You do not even have to talk or force words for the full minute. Say what you need to say and then sit at His feet quietly before moving on.
Let's quit being distracted by all things we can't do or get to throughout the day, and start focusing on what we can accomplish. Let's pencil in happiness and rest and time with God and while we are at it, why don't we check that box on the calendar that makes it an All Day Event? Let's stop preparing for conversations and unassumingly CHOOSE the one good thing that can't be taken away...there is no prescription better than that!
**Side note: While I was trying to type this, I got a call from the hubs that the modem was out on the house. So I spent 18 minutes on the phone with the provider trying to figure out why. Also, another loose neighbor dog in the backyard and a call to Animal Control. A guy at work called looking for a check and the hubs made me laugh so hard, I realized I had to go to the bathroom. Life happens, oh, life happens.**
**Blog update from last week: My submission was accepted!! I am honored, excited, and humbled to be a part of raising money for www.mercyhousekenya.com through my contribution to their upcoming book. I look forward to sharing more information on it as publication draws near.**
Thursday, July 16, 2015
Specks on Windshields
Every once in awhile I feel like my life is in neutral, like I am not doing enough, but am not sure what I should be doing, and I find myself getting a little restless. I have been in one of "those moods" lately and this week has been frustrating. It is not that things are going bad or anything horrible has happened, things have just been a bit annoying, I want things to be chill, people to be respectful, and life to be low-key and it is not my agenda that is playing out.
I had to catch up on work from being off for a couple of days, which also put me on a payroll day, which is not my specialty. A challenging person in our lives, continues to hold up their end of the bargain. A neighbor dog wandered into our yard at 2:00 in the morning and had a great time barking, pooping, and tracking mud all over the new deck for over two hours. The city workers decided to use our drive way and side yard to access the alley (because apparently taking 10 seconds to drive around the corner is exhausting), and today after I washed my car, like the very second I pulled away from the dryer, bird poop. Windshield, dead center, two thirds of the way down. Well played bird, well played. And it is July in Oklahoma...hot, humid, hot - like ponytail everyday and boycott pants hot. Oh, and one of the baseball moms just sent me a pic of her beverage overlooking the lake. Come on!!
I began praying on Monday, "okay God, I have something to learn here, there is something going on and you are lining up things while I sit her and stew, so let me be ready, let me be willing when the time comes for whatever it may be". And last night at church our speaker started by asking "what has God done in your life this week?" and when only a few people answered, he asked "did you wake up?", "do you have your health?". He also ended by saying, there is going to be suffering, God didn't send His Son to die on the cross because it felt good. There is going to be sacrifice.
I joined a closed Facebook group - a group of writers and bloggers - and an opportunity came about for stories on "Motherhood" for a compilation for an upcoming book to raise money for Mercy House. And as I followed the posts, I thought, these women are amazing, their stories are triumphant, I can't compete for a spot with all they have to share. So last week, as the deadline approached, and life got busy, I left the group...and then a few days later, there was a post notification. Somehow, I was back in the group and there my story lay on my heart, and it was heavy, and 100% from God - pushing me to be courageous and participate. So last week I submitted my story - I don't know yet if it will be a good fit for their goals, but I do know that it is one of the bravest things I felt I have done in as long as I can remember and even now, I am fighting all the reasons they have to kick it out. Doubts. Doubts are like poop on the windshield: Sometimes out of nowhere and right when you are trying to see where you are going.
Today I am feeling a bit like a Jonah. How God put something on his heart and Jonah went south after God said go north. And Jonah couldn't deny that he was the reason the water wasn't so smooth. And Jonah spent a few days in the whale wondering how long it would be until it was over and then he realized he was to acknowledge God with thanksgiving and to be obedient. And then that poor whale, the one being obedient to God, had to suffer a little and vomit Jonah back onto the shore. And Jonah begrudgingly did what he was told, but he didn't like it and had doubts about it. And he told God as much without holding back. And God gave him shade to get over "his mood", and then the worm ate it. And Jonah got a little huffy about it again. And I think it would be awesome if God said "Seriously Jonah, get it together dude".
The Message puts it like this in Jonah 4:10-11 God said, “What’s this? How is it that you can change your feelings from pleasure to anger overnight about a mere shade tree that you did nothing to get? You neither planted nor watered it. It grew up one night and died the next night. So, why can’t I likewise change what I feel about Nineveh from anger to pleasure, this big city of more than 120,000 childlike people who don’t yet know right from wrong...?”
Yep. Jonah. I am so up and down sometimes (my family might say all the time). I have so much to be thankful for, yet I wallow in irritation when it finds friends. An abundance that never even crossed my brain, heart, or soul to be thankful for and God is growing me anyway and providing in ways that I have "neither planted nor watered".
I am so glad to be frustrated with payroll because it means I have a job to go to. Operating on four hours of sleep means 1. I am capable, though probably not too terribly delightful and 2. More Coffee!! Poop on the windshield means I have a car that is running and has a windshield to be pooped on. Poop away! And challenging people provide an opportunity to be kind, and to have a conversation with God, even if it is "Oh Dear Sweet Lord, help me out here. I don't want to make this worse and I sure don't want to go to jail". And my friend at the lake? I will deal with her later...
I have no question that submitting my story was first and foremost about being obedient. Secondly, I think it was about me realizing that I had been placed in this moment to smooth out my doubts. Submitting something to my "Nineveh" when I wasn't sure it would be embraced with love and kindness (read: fear of rejection). The lead authors and fellow writers and bloggers have been gracious, excited, and encouraging. It is going to be a great book...
So as I wind down, I am pouring my doubts a drink, feeling more at peace and not so anxious. Sometimes it takes a little speck, and ALOT of God, to say: Get it together dude! There is plenty of windshield to see out of!
I had to catch up on work from being off for a couple of days, which also put me on a payroll day, which is not my specialty. A challenging person in our lives, continues to hold up their end of the bargain. A neighbor dog wandered into our yard at 2:00 in the morning and had a great time barking, pooping, and tracking mud all over the new deck for over two hours. The city workers decided to use our drive way and side yard to access the alley (because apparently taking 10 seconds to drive around the corner is exhausting), and today after I washed my car, like the very second I pulled away from the dryer, bird poop. Windshield, dead center, two thirds of the way down. Well played bird, well played. And it is July in Oklahoma...hot, humid, hot - like ponytail everyday and boycott pants hot. Oh, and one of the baseball moms just sent me a pic of her beverage overlooking the lake. Come on!!
I began praying on Monday, "okay God, I have something to learn here, there is something going on and you are lining up things while I sit her and stew, so let me be ready, let me be willing when the time comes for whatever it may be". And last night at church our speaker started by asking "what has God done in your life this week?" and when only a few people answered, he asked "did you wake up?", "do you have your health?". He also ended by saying, there is going to be suffering, God didn't send His Son to die on the cross because it felt good. There is going to be sacrifice.
I joined a closed Facebook group - a group of writers and bloggers - and an opportunity came about for stories on "Motherhood" for a compilation for an upcoming book to raise money for Mercy House. And as I followed the posts, I thought, these women are amazing, their stories are triumphant, I can't compete for a spot with all they have to share. So last week, as the deadline approached, and life got busy, I left the group...and then a few days later, there was a post notification. Somehow, I was back in the group and there my story lay on my heart, and it was heavy, and 100% from God - pushing me to be courageous and participate. So last week I submitted my story - I don't know yet if it will be a good fit for their goals, but I do know that it is one of the bravest things I felt I have done in as long as I can remember and even now, I am fighting all the reasons they have to kick it out. Doubts. Doubts are like poop on the windshield: Sometimes out of nowhere and right when you are trying to see where you are going.
Today I am feeling a bit like a Jonah. How God put something on his heart and Jonah went south after God said go north. And Jonah couldn't deny that he was the reason the water wasn't so smooth. And Jonah spent a few days in the whale wondering how long it would be until it was over and then he realized he was to acknowledge God with thanksgiving and to be obedient. And then that poor whale, the one being obedient to God, had to suffer a little and vomit Jonah back onto the shore. And Jonah begrudgingly did what he was told, but he didn't like it and had doubts about it. And he told God as much without holding back. And God gave him shade to get over "his mood", and then the worm ate it. And Jonah got a little huffy about it again. And I think it would be awesome if God said "Seriously Jonah, get it together dude".
The Message puts it like this in Jonah 4:10-11 God said, “What’s this? How is it that you can change your feelings from pleasure to anger overnight about a mere shade tree that you did nothing to get? You neither planted nor watered it. It grew up one night and died the next night. So, why can’t I likewise change what I feel about Nineveh from anger to pleasure, this big city of more than 120,000 childlike people who don’t yet know right from wrong...?”
Yep. Jonah. I am so up and down sometimes (my family might say all the time). I have so much to be thankful for, yet I wallow in irritation when it finds friends. An abundance that never even crossed my brain, heart, or soul to be thankful for and God is growing me anyway and providing in ways that I have "neither planted nor watered".
I am so glad to be frustrated with payroll because it means I have a job to go to. Operating on four hours of sleep means 1. I am capable, though probably not too terribly delightful and 2. More Coffee!! Poop on the windshield means I have a car that is running and has a windshield to be pooped on. Poop away! And challenging people provide an opportunity to be kind, and to have a conversation with God, even if it is "Oh Dear Sweet Lord, help me out here. I don't want to make this worse and I sure don't want to go to jail". And my friend at the lake? I will deal with her later...
I have no question that submitting my story was first and foremost about being obedient. Secondly, I think it was about me realizing that I had been placed in this moment to smooth out my doubts. Submitting something to my "Nineveh" when I wasn't sure it would be embraced with love and kindness (read: fear of rejection). The lead authors and fellow writers and bloggers have been gracious, excited, and encouraging. It is going to be a great book...
So as I wind down, I am pouring my doubts a drink, feeling more at peace and not so anxious. Sometimes it takes a little speck, and ALOT of God, to say: Get it together dude! There is plenty of windshield to see out of!
Wednesday, July 8, 2015
God Met Me at the Car Dealership
I got a NEW CAR!! It is the cutest little thing...it is a Nissan Juke and it gets double the gas mileage of my last car, lessened our monthly car payment considerably, and is perfect for getting back and forth to work. Sounds like a responsible move, right? And it was...kind of. Probably a little pre-mid-life-crisis with its sunroof, rear spoiler, black exterior and interior, and TURBO engine...kind of responsible, kind of not.
I don't know about you, but I always stress about big purchases. Big purchases are especially hard on us since our life-altering incident almost four years ago. But God totally revealed Himself to me and continues to encourage me to share my story in the most random of places, i.e. new car lots.
I had found a Juke locally, but it didn't quite have all the features I wanted and as I started to look, I discovered I could get a brand-new Juke for a little over the price of a used one, which are hard to find. So I hit the inter-web and found a new one about an hour a way, and it had everything I wanted aside from the sunroof. Then I found another dealer in the opposite direction that had three on the lot that had everything I wanted. It also happened to be in the same town that my son was playing baseball in for the weekend. So I made a phone call, put on my big girl britches, and headed to the dealer.
I did not get the trade-in price I wanted (of course) but was still in the payment range I wanted to be, so I sealed the deal with a good old-fashion hand-shake. Now the scary part. Financing. As I sat there with this woman, I noticed the Finance Department schedule on the wall. There are five staff and they take rotating days off and work weird shifts, no 8-5 in the FD. I had just caught her toward the end of her shift. As she pulled up our credit history, I got a little clammy and sweaty and wanted to throw up and abort the entire plan. She said "you all have done really well since your bankruptcy". And for whatever reason, I felt entirely compelled to tell her (word vomit) the story of getting our store broken into...twice...and the fallout that ensued. At this moment, I am completely tear-free and a little beside myself as to why I am pouring out my heart to this stranger who holds the fate of my maybe-new-car in her hands.
Here I am at one of three dealers, with a woman about to end her shift, and she tells me that 15 years earlier, she and her husband owned a grocery store and it was broken in to. She said they stole every last item that contained or was linked to nicotine. They took every last gallon of milk and spilled it all over the store - sour milk on every isle. They took every last carton of eggs and egged the entire store. Similar to us, they had a shady initial business deal and less-than-adequate insurance for an event of this nature. And they had to file for bankruptcy. If you think that God doesn't place you exactly where you need to be, with someone that needs to hear your story, and with someone you need to hear from to know that you are 100% not alone in this world, then you and I need to go grab some sort of beverage and hash out some things.
The bank that picked up the Juke loan was doing so at an INSANE interest rate and again the lump in my throat threatened to abort the deal. And she looked at me and smiled and said "I'm going to call the owner (of the dealership!), you all need a break". And so she did. And so our interest rate got cut over 6% and they added a full 7-year warranty on top of that, and my first oil change is FREE (love that word), and I got three FREE air-freshners and an extra set of floor mats! So the tears are now flowing (with her and as I type this). Because it is supercrazyinsanescary (spell check is having a terrible time with that one) to put yourself out there, to bare your soul and (very public) humiliation, to be completely real about your failures and await a verdict. And out of all the choices I could have made that week, I am sitting here with someone that doesn't just have compassion for our situation, she can RELATE!
And I hear God say through my tears "you have to stop being afraid to share this story, people need each other". I explained to her through my "ugly-crying" how hard it was to share my testimony and how I had really been struggling because I didn't want to be judged or criticized (read: chicken, avoider, detour, selfish). How I had bit the bullet and agreed to share it at the upcoming Wednesday service. How God knew that I needed to "test it out" on someone so that He could affirm that yes...yes...this is for My good.
So I don't mean to brag about getting a new car (kind of), it is not the car, but the story around it that I want to share. I always tell my kiddos that if we involve God, the process makes a way. It may have some ups and downs, but the final say is oh.so.good.
1 Timothy 6:12 Fight the good fight of faith; take hold of the eternal life to which you were called, and you made the good confession in the presence of many witnesses.
I am learning, sometimes at a turtle pace, that I can only be me. I can only put the story out there, I can't be responsible for how someone interprets it. I can only put the good out there, I can't be responsible for what someone does with it. I can only be me, I can't be responsible for the 'like' or 'unlike' button. We all have these normal backgrounds that are anything but. The equally normal thing about our stories is that they are messy, chaotic, tragic, triumphant, courageous, persevering, intertwined and most assuredly remain unwritten...
So when you see me zipping around town in my pre-mid-life-crisis car, know that God is truly everywhere, even schmarmy new car dealerships. Know that if you have something placed on your heart, it is not there by accident. And most importantly, know that you are not alone in your story, but if you choose to keep it to yourself, you will miss out on potentially some of the most heart-warming, albeit awkward, moments to cry and rejoice in the exact places, at just the right times.
AMEN and AMEN!
I don't know about you, but I always stress about big purchases. Big purchases are especially hard on us since our life-altering incident almost four years ago. But God totally revealed Himself to me and continues to encourage me to share my story in the most random of places, i.e. new car lots.
I had found a Juke locally, but it didn't quite have all the features I wanted and as I started to look, I discovered I could get a brand-new Juke for a little over the price of a used one, which are hard to find. So I hit the inter-web and found a new one about an hour a way, and it had everything I wanted aside from the sunroof. Then I found another dealer in the opposite direction that had three on the lot that had everything I wanted. It also happened to be in the same town that my son was playing baseball in for the weekend. So I made a phone call, put on my big girl britches, and headed to the dealer.
I did not get the trade-in price I wanted (of course) but was still in the payment range I wanted to be, so I sealed the deal with a good old-fashion hand-shake. Now the scary part. Financing. As I sat there with this woman, I noticed the Finance Department schedule on the wall. There are five staff and they take rotating days off and work weird shifts, no 8-5 in the FD. I had just caught her toward the end of her shift. As she pulled up our credit history, I got a little clammy and sweaty and wanted to throw up and abort the entire plan. She said "you all have done really well since your bankruptcy". And for whatever reason, I felt entirely compelled to tell her (word vomit) the story of getting our store broken into...twice...and the fallout that ensued. At this moment, I am completely tear-free and a little beside myself as to why I am pouring out my heart to this stranger who holds the fate of my maybe-new-car in her hands.
Here I am at one of three dealers, with a woman about to end her shift, and she tells me that 15 years earlier, she and her husband owned a grocery store and it was broken in to. She said they stole every last item that contained or was linked to nicotine. They took every last gallon of milk and spilled it all over the store - sour milk on every isle. They took every last carton of eggs and egged the entire store. Similar to us, they had a shady initial business deal and less-than-adequate insurance for an event of this nature. And they had to file for bankruptcy. If you think that God doesn't place you exactly where you need to be, with someone that needs to hear your story, and with someone you need to hear from to know that you are 100% not alone in this world, then you and I need to go grab some sort of beverage and hash out some things.
The bank that picked up the Juke loan was doing so at an INSANE interest rate and again the lump in my throat threatened to abort the deal. And she looked at me and smiled and said "I'm going to call the owner (of the dealership!), you all need a break". And so she did. And so our interest rate got cut over 6% and they added a full 7-year warranty on top of that, and my first oil change is FREE (love that word), and I got three FREE air-freshners and an extra set of floor mats! So the tears are now flowing (with her and as I type this). Because it is supercrazyinsanescary (spell check is having a terrible time with that one) to put yourself out there, to bare your soul and (very public) humiliation, to be completely real about your failures and await a verdict. And out of all the choices I could have made that week, I am sitting here with someone that doesn't just have compassion for our situation, she can RELATE!
And I hear God say through my tears "you have to stop being afraid to share this story, people need each other". I explained to her through my "ugly-crying" how hard it was to share my testimony and how I had really been struggling because I didn't want to be judged or criticized (read: chicken, avoider, detour, selfish). How I had bit the bullet and agreed to share it at the upcoming Wednesday service. How God knew that I needed to "test it out" on someone so that He could affirm that yes...yes...this is for My good.
So I don't mean to brag about getting a new car (kind of), it is not the car, but the story around it that I want to share. I always tell my kiddos that if we involve God, the process makes a way. It may have some ups and downs, but the final say is oh.so.good.
1 Timothy 6:12 Fight the good fight of faith; take hold of the eternal life to which you were called, and you made the good confession in the presence of many witnesses.
I am learning, sometimes at a turtle pace, that I can only be me. I can only put the story out there, I can't be responsible for how someone interprets it. I can only put the good out there, I can't be responsible for what someone does with it. I can only be me, I can't be responsible for the 'like' or 'unlike' button. We all have these normal backgrounds that are anything but. The equally normal thing about our stories is that they are messy, chaotic, tragic, triumphant, courageous, persevering, intertwined and most assuredly remain unwritten...
So when you see me zipping around town in my pre-mid-life-crisis car, know that God is truly everywhere, even schmarmy new car dealerships. Know that if you have something placed on your heart, it is not there by accident. And most importantly, know that you are not alone in your story, but if you choose to keep it to yourself, you will miss out on potentially some of the most heart-warming, albeit awkward, moments to cry and rejoice in the exact places, at just the right times.
AMEN and AMEN!
Thursday, June 25, 2015
While I'm Waiting...
John Waller has a Song titled “While
I’m Waiting”, and because I can’t sing, and you shouldn't even try to envision that,
picture me dramatically reading the main lyrics to you:
I’m waiting. I’m waiting on you,
Lord and I am Hopeful. I’m waiting on
you Lord though it is painful. But
patiently I will wait, I will move ahead, bold and confident, taking every step
in obedience. I will serve you Lord
while I am waiting. I will not faint,
I’ll be running the race even while I wait.
1. Trust in the Lord
Psalm 37:3-7 tells us: Trust in the Lord, and do good; dwell in the land, and feed on His faithfulness. Delight yourself in the Lord, and He shall give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to the Lord, Trust also in Him, and He shall bring it to pass…Rest in the Lord and wait patiently on Him.
Trust encompasses a wait. God is lining up all the players in your life just as He needs them to be and when the moment is right, He will initiate the victory lap. We tend to get rest-less rather than rest-full. Our lives today are so busy, we feel like we are forgetting something or we are lazy if we don't have at least 16 hours of the day completely overbooked and overflowing. Rest your mind and body and trust in what He has planned for you.
2. Build Dependence on the Lord
In a Blog, Daughter by Design (emphasis is mine, it speaks to me, I share):
3. Mount Up
We are called to be bold! Jesus calls us to get uncomfortable and to live a life of risk and adventure in His name. And it is really hard for us because we want the credit for doing it. We want to say "Look at me! Did you see that thing I did? Man, that took courage but I did it!". Loyalty is proven when it is inconvenient. God will give us the means to walk his path, but we have to do the walking because it brings joy to us and in return Christ, not because we seek Kudos at the end of the day. Galatians 1:10 For am I now seeking the favor of men or of God? Or am I striving to please men? If I were still trying to please men, I would not be a bond-servant of Christ.
Psalm 27:14 Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord.
You want to really spend time in the bible? Download the Bible App at YouVersion.com and search "wait". You will get so lost in all the scripture that you will forget all those other hours you had packed in to your schedule...
This song is about actively
waiting: Waiting is hopeful, painful,
moving ahead, taking obedient steps, serving, not fainting, and running the
race. All while we wait.
The word “wait” in and of its self makes us think of doctor’s offices,
long lines at the amusement part, calls to customer service, sending off
results from your visit to the doctor’s office, sitting down at a nice, packed, popular
restaurant, booking a vacation months out, glancing at the clock on a workday
and hoping it says 5:00. As I read the
headlines each morning or watch the news, I find myself praying “Come Lord
Jesus”. That is our ultimate wait isn’t
it? Today I want to highlight a few
things we can do while we actively wait:
1. Trust in the Lord
Psalm 37:3-7 tells us: Trust in the Lord, and do good; dwell in the land, and feed on His faithfulness. Delight yourself in the Lord, and He shall give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to the Lord, Trust also in Him, and He shall bring it to pass…Rest in the Lord and wait patiently on Him.
Trust encompasses a wait. God is lining up all the players in your life just as He needs them to be and when the moment is right, He will initiate the victory lap. We tend to get rest-less rather than rest-full. Our lives today are so busy, we feel like we are forgetting something or we are lazy if we don't have at least 16 hours of the day completely overbooked and overflowing. Rest your mind and body and trust in what He has planned for you.
In a Blog, Daughter by Design (emphasis is mine, it speaks to me, I share):
He kept Moses in a desert for 40 years. Joseph in a prison cell for 10 years. Abraham without a child for 100 years. David on the run for 15 years. And maybe He is keeping you right where you are for the same reason he kept these men for so many years: To build your faith. To build your dependence on Him when you are empty. To see if He is truly all you desire and all you need. To see how well you will trust and serve Him when you are stuck in the background somewhere, doing something seemingly insignificant for Him. To build your trust in the storm and through the battle. Sometimes the waiting period of our lives is the most important time in our lives. This waiting time is the time to build spiritual muscle. To grow in faith. To learn to depend on Him. If He is making you wait, there is a good reason. You will have a greater testimony when He waits to help you be an overcomer tomorrow. He made some of the greatest men of faith wait, and He came through for them, just as He will come through for you.
And I am in awe of the eloquence of this simple statement by Elisabeth Elliot "Waiting on God
requires the willingness to bear uncertainty.
To carry within oneself the unanswered question, lifting the heart to
God about it whenever it intrudes upon our thoughts".
I have learned that to depend on God is by far the best choice when we are empty, when we are in the background, when we feel insignificant, when we bear the very heavy cup of uncertainty and unanswered questions. That is when God is doing the waiting...on us. He is just patiently waiting for us to get our act together. And as busy as we all think we are and pretend to be, we sure waste a lot of time by trying to do it ourselves and not depending on Him throughout our exhaustive days.
God is waiting... Joel 2:12-13 MSG – It is not too late – God’s personal message. Come back to me and really mean it! Come fasting, come weeping, sorry for your sins. Change your life, not just your clothes. Come back to God, your God, and here is why. God is kind and merciful. He takes a deep breath, puts up with a lot. This most patient God, extravagant in love, always ready to cancel catastrophe.
God wants everyone to turn to him, wants no one left behind 1 Timothy 2:4 Who desires ALL men to be saved and to come to knowledge of the truth. God has a heart to save us. He never waivers – what varies is whether we are resting, trusting, depending, listening or not.
We are called to be bold! Jesus calls us to get uncomfortable and to live a life of risk and adventure in His name. And it is really hard for us because we want the credit for doing it. We want to say "Look at me! Did you see that thing I did? Man, that took courage but I did it!". Loyalty is proven when it is inconvenient. God will give us the means to walk his path, but we have to do the walking because it brings joy to us and in return Christ, not because we seek Kudos at the end of the day.
God does not call the qualified, but
qualifies the called (I have seen this five million times and have no idea who said it, but it has been said. Okay, more like four million times). That means in
order to qualify us, he is going to have to prepare us, and preparation usually
means we have work to do before we can carry out His great commission.
Trust in His timing. Rely on His
promises. Wait for His answers. Believe in His miracles. Rejoice in His
goodness. Rest in His presence.
Is 40:31 – But those who wait on the
Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles,
they shall run and not be weary, they shall walk and not faint.
Watch God work in His ways. Ask God about His purposes. Invite God to work on your heart. Trust God to fulfill His plans. Waiting on God doesn’t mean we are doing nothing. It’s about allowing God to do His thing. - Elisa PulliamIf you have been to our women's bible study (from this point forward WBS because I can), we talk about word vomit, and I feel like that is what I have messily accomplished here today - it is a little chunky and not completely sure that I chewed it all before I swallowed it. I know from recent devotions, and WBS conversation, it is time to trust in Him and be willing to mount up when it is time to ride. Can't hardly wait for God to do his "thang"!
Thursday, June 18, 2015
Driving Through God's Lessons
Spiritually, I feel like I have been stuck in neutral/on cruise control for awhile now, and I am THANKFUL for that and praise God for life just getting to be life with no speed bumps for a brief moment. My Women's Bible Study group has been studying Sermon on the Mount: Living for God's Kingdom by Miles Custis and it appears that this book is just what I need to put things back into forward motion, even though I have had to hit the breaks and take a harsh look at how I approach a few intersections.
A little road (heart) construction that I have had to slow down for on this current trip:
1. I struggle with mean people. It is hard to be pure in heart, a peacemaker, and extend mercy to people that are just not very nice. I am not good at it. AT ALL. Our group noted that there is a difference between being a "peacemaker" and a "peacekeeper". Sometimes all we need to do is extend the love of God and address a situation with a kind-heart from both perspectives. How the situation is handled by someone else, is their choice. It is their choice to forgive, to operate out of kindness, or it is their choice to over-think it and hang on to the animosity and hurt.
God kicked this contemplation into first-gear in one of my devotionals later that week: Some believers wear themselves out trying to make the Word of God pass. That is not our job! Our job is not to make things happen. Our job is to let the Word abide in us. Our job is to abide in Jesus; to replace our own thoughts with His thoughts - to speak and act in line with His word.
2. Love one another (your neighbor and your enemy). Our group talked about this simple commandment. So easy, yet so hard at the exact same time. If every single one of us lived each day out of love, there would be no need for laws. There would be no murder, adultery, thievery...because if you love someone, you would never do those things. The law also gives us a baseline to pass judgment. We think we are above someone if we are abiding in the law while they are recklessly abandoning the law. Our study tells us that "Jesus cares less about the specific written laws and more about our hearts and how we treat one another".
Your enemies and persecutors have similar agendas, and that is 'to discredit you'. They do not operate out of love and boy-oh-boy do they need out prayers. And have you ever noticed, that they tend to hang out with like-minds? But we can do the same thing - moving into second-gear from my devotional that week: We can't fellowship with the world and live like an overcomer. We get strength from one another, but we also get weakness from one another. To grow strong, we have to find others who are strong (stronger than us is preferable!) in the Lord.
My struggle here is showing love to people who sometimes aren't that loveable. I have to pray hard for God to clear my mind of the frustration and irritation and allow me to offer up a sincere prayer for them. Sometimes that is all we can do is pray for them and wait patiently while God works on their hearts and softens ours. And honestly, I could throw a terrible-two's tantrum right here "I don't wanna", "I caaaaan't dooo iiiit", "it's haaaard", "whhhhyyyy???". If you have kids, you totally want to jerk me up by the arm right now and pop me on the butt. Don't think that God doesn't want to do that to us too when we fight showing love to someone when love is what they need the most. And yet God sets the example and loves us, even when we aren't very loveable...
3. Loving others as you love yourself. For starters, you have to love yourself. Christ lives in each and every one of us, so to love Him is to love ourselves/others and vice versa. We should talk to ourselves and others as if we are talking to Christ.
Matt 5:48 (MSG) You are kingdom subjects. Now live like it! Live out your God-created identity. Generously and graciously toward others.
And third-gear on the devotional highway: Jesus did not walk around meeting the needs of everyone he met, he sought out those of Faith. Faith and receiving are intimately connected. God has provided, but you have to receive it.
Just as first-gear put it, it is not our job to make it all work. We extend the Word of God and we seek out those who are ready to receive. If someone is not ready to join the faith walk, no matter what you say or do, you will not make them understand the road you are on in your journey. It is up to God to lift their visor.
4. What we think should be our comfort zone isn't all that comfortable sometimes. Growing up in a small town, and currently living in a small town, I return to this verse frequently when I am sad or frustrated:
Mark 6:4-6 (MSG) Jesus told them, “A prophet has little honor in his hometown, among his relatives, on the streets he played in as a child.” Jesus wasn’t able to do much of anything there—he laid hands on a few sick people and healed them, that’s all. He couldn’t get over their stubbornness. He left and made a circuit of the other villages, teaching.
Mark 6:4-6 (NASB) Jesus said to them, "A prophet is not without honor except in his hometown and among his own relatives and in his own household." 5And He could do no miracle there except that He laid His hands on a few sick people and healed them. 6And He wondered at their unbelief. And He was going around the villages teaching.
Um...if Jesus couldn't make everyone believe, then that is a tall order to put on ourselves! I like the subtle differences in the versions here. It is hard for us to rise above our past with people in our hometown, with our own relatives, with childhood friends. People are stubborn and will not believe you. And often, we have to go outside of where we currently are to make the greatest impact.
I have struggled (full of fear is more like it!) to share my testimony locally because I am not sure I can break through what people think they know about my story (nor will I be able to make it through without ugly crying). But I have prayed about it and I have to put it out there. It is not up to me what others choose to believe or not believe, that is up to God. I only need to pack some tissues...
We can not allow ourselves to stall out waiting for someone else to get in the car. It only discourages us and provides a window of self-doubt for us to escape out of. Do what He commands us to do, let Him sort out the detours, the drop-offs, and the ride-alongs. God didn't promise that the road would be quiet and straight - the ups and downs, twists and turns, and middle-of-no-wheres are what make the final destination all the sweeter. Enjoy the smooth stretches, but be prepared for the real ride!
A little road (heart) construction that I have had to slow down for on this current trip:
1. I struggle with mean people. It is hard to be pure in heart, a peacemaker, and extend mercy to people that are just not very nice. I am not good at it. AT ALL. Our group noted that there is a difference between being a "peacemaker" and a "peacekeeper". Sometimes all we need to do is extend the love of God and address a situation with a kind-heart from both perspectives. How the situation is handled by someone else, is their choice. It is their choice to forgive, to operate out of kindness, or it is their choice to over-think it and hang on to the animosity and hurt.
God kicked this contemplation into first-gear in one of my devotionals later that week: Some believers wear themselves out trying to make the Word of God pass. That is not our job! Our job is not to make things happen. Our job is to let the Word abide in us. Our job is to abide in Jesus; to replace our own thoughts with His thoughts - to speak and act in line with His word.
2. Love one another (your neighbor and your enemy). Our group talked about this simple commandment. So easy, yet so hard at the exact same time. If every single one of us lived each day out of love, there would be no need for laws. There would be no murder, adultery, thievery...because if you love someone, you would never do those things. The law also gives us a baseline to pass judgment. We think we are above someone if we are abiding in the law while they are recklessly abandoning the law. Our study tells us that "Jesus cares less about the specific written laws and more about our hearts and how we treat one another".
Your enemies and persecutors have similar agendas, and that is 'to discredit you'. They do not operate out of love and boy-oh-boy do they need out prayers. And have you ever noticed, that they tend to hang out with like-minds? But we can do the same thing - moving into second-gear from my devotional that week: We can't fellowship with the world and live like an overcomer. We get strength from one another, but we also get weakness from one another. To grow strong, we have to find others who are strong (stronger than us is preferable!) in the Lord.
My struggle here is showing love to people who sometimes aren't that loveable. I have to pray hard for God to clear my mind of the frustration and irritation and allow me to offer up a sincere prayer for them. Sometimes that is all we can do is pray for them and wait patiently while God works on their hearts and softens ours. And honestly, I could throw a terrible-two's tantrum right here "I don't wanna", "I caaaaan't dooo iiiit", "it's haaaard", "whhhhyyyy???". If you have kids, you totally want to jerk me up by the arm right now and pop me on the butt. Don't think that God doesn't want to do that to us too when we fight showing love to someone when love is what they need the most. And yet God sets the example and loves us, even when we aren't very loveable...
3. Loving others as you love yourself. For starters, you have to love yourself. Christ lives in each and every one of us, so to love Him is to love ourselves/others and vice versa. We should talk to ourselves and others as if we are talking to Christ.
Matt 5:48 (MSG) You are kingdom subjects. Now live like it! Live out your God-created identity. Generously and graciously toward others.
And third-gear on the devotional highway: Jesus did not walk around meeting the needs of everyone he met, he sought out those of Faith. Faith and receiving are intimately connected. God has provided, but you have to receive it.
Just as first-gear put it, it is not our job to make it all work. We extend the Word of God and we seek out those who are ready to receive. If someone is not ready to join the faith walk, no matter what you say or do, you will not make them understand the road you are on in your journey. It is up to God to lift their visor.
4. What we think should be our comfort zone isn't all that comfortable sometimes. Growing up in a small town, and currently living in a small town, I return to this verse frequently when I am sad or frustrated:
Mark 6:4-6 (MSG) Jesus told them, “A prophet has little honor in his hometown, among his relatives, on the streets he played in as a child.” Jesus wasn’t able to do much of anything there—he laid hands on a few sick people and healed them, that’s all. He couldn’t get over their stubbornness. He left and made a circuit of the other villages, teaching.
Mark 6:4-6 (NASB) Jesus said to them, "A prophet is not without honor except in his hometown and among his own relatives and in his own household." 5And He could do no miracle there except that He laid His hands on a few sick people and healed them. 6And He wondered at their unbelief. And He was going around the villages teaching.
Um...if Jesus couldn't make everyone believe, then that is a tall order to put on ourselves! I like the subtle differences in the versions here. It is hard for us to rise above our past with people in our hometown, with our own relatives, with childhood friends. People are stubborn and will not believe you. And often, we have to go outside of where we currently are to make the greatest impact.
I have struggled (full of fear is more like it!) to share my testimony locally because I am not sure I can break through what people think they know about my story (nor will I be able to make it through without ugly crying). But I have prayed about it and I have to put it out there. It is not up to me what others choose to believe or not believe, that is up to God. I only need to pack some tissues...
We can not allow ourselves to stall out waiting for someone else to get in the car. It only discourages us and provides a window of self-doubt for us to escape out of. Do what He commands us to do, let Him sort out the detours, the drop-offs, and the ride-alongs. God didn't promise that the road would be quiet and straight - the ups and downs, twists and turns, and middle-of-no-wheres are what make the final destination all the sweeter. Enjoy the smooth stretches, but be prepared for the real ride!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)