Friday, October 21, 2016

Letting Go in Order to find a new Hope

Letting go is hard.  Us humans in our fleshy emotional selves, are faced with all kinds of situations that require us to let go in some way:

The death of a loved one.
A relationship that is no longer healthy.
Carbohydrates.
Dreams.
Control.
Size 4.
Grudges.
A sixteen year-old driving down the road, alone, for the first time.
Social Media.

When I was laid off at the end of February, God kept whispering, "be still".  As I drove to see my grandpa that last day, the conversation centered around, "be still".  As I pulled out the gift from my grandma, "be still".  The week after my grandpa passed away, I chose to "be still", as I sat for forty-five minutes and permanently marked another long journey in my testimony of God's goodness and provision.

 Psalm 46:10 Be still and know that I am God.
Ephesians 14:14 The Lord will fight for you, you only need to be still.

The Hebrew word for still, centers around letting go and surrendering.  We surrender in order to acknowledge that God is in control.

The Greek word for still, is to "hold peace", rest.  To rest, knowing that God will give us peace.

I have had to let go of a lot more than I could ever have imagined or wanted to these past seven months, some of them unexpected, and some of them long overdue.  Then one day, Justine Brooks Froelker - When Hope Grows Up: Finding Hope in His Plan found its way into my devotional rotation.  She writes (summarized):
...that too often we see hope as a badge or a reprieve when stories of hope are tied to the "happy ending".  We should not just share our highlight reel of victory, but also of struggle, conviction, and perseverance - remembering fosters faith.  Owning our stories, means owning ALL the parts.  Sometimes we have to redefine our hope and let go of a dream.  This doesn't mean that we have given up, that we quit, or that we have chosen without loss...
God will send you the Word you need, the devotion you need, the people you need, at the exact time you need them.  When we are part of something for many, many years, and then life happens, people transition, philosophies start to change and/or new personalities take over...that is often God giving us the opportunity to examine our heart, motives, service, and determination of who/where our hope lies.

I have been contemplating a change for over a year now.  I was stuck a few weeks ago wondering if I had failed to be obedient when God first laid it on my heart, or if He needed me to walk the discernment process...As I prayed over the current situation, I knew it was time to let go, even though that choice would come with some loss.  I texted a brief summary to a friend for affirmation, because two big arrows were pointing at my vulnerable humanity...and asked for some prayers.  She immediately sent back, "guilt is not from the Lord".  Cue the waterworks...

The next day, my new BFF Justine wrote:  Healthier hope comes from learning to practice active acceptance of what we cannot change, balanced with the trust that He holds the end of the story.

It takes trust for us to let go of all the things that worry us, that keep us up at night, that distract from the now.  It took a brief and profound five-day devotional for me to realize that letting go is not giving up, quitting, or selfish.  It is accepting, redefining, and embracing a new version of you.  One that God has provided rest, peace, surrender, and His happy ending for.


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