The Fresh Tiles of a New Year

Ahhhhh...the dawn of a new year.  Three-hundred and sixty-five clean tiles on which we pursue lofty goals, ambitions, and all things good.  Or if you are me, the first five or so tiles are fairly immaculate and then there is some smudging on the next few, then possibly or possibly not, some may appear to have been forcefully smashed against the concrete, staring up at me, reminding me my resolve tends to shatter just as easily.

Last year I did the one word approach.  Presence.  I went into the year making the effort to slow down and experience God's Presence in the moments that presented themselves.  And I can pat myself on the back January - March, but I am pretty sure in July I had an "oh, yeah, I was supposed to be practicing His Presence" revelation.  And rarely do we start back up where we left off, oh no, just table that for the next Monday, or after then next big event, or the next New Year.

And because I am no quitter, I am going to give some things a good old fashioned go-of-it for 2016. 
The words that have been painting my tiles this first week of newness are:  Seek.  Discern.  Intentional.  And it is much easier to pick (and fail or not fail) one word, but as hard as I have tried, I can not find a way to separate these three.

If I am to seek God in my situations, I have to be able to discern that wherever I find myself, it is of His doing.  And I have to be very intentional about what feelings, words, and actions follow.

If I am to seek new opportunities for myself, I have to discern if I will be able to shine God's light through the situation.  And I have to be intentional about staying the course.

If I am to seek rest and restoration for my soul, I have to discern who and what that entails.  And I have to be intentional about presenting this gift to myself.

God has already highlighted some things for me to work on.  Yesterday was one of those days where across four different devotionals, randomly started, in no way connected...three of them had the same theme working on my heart - God's work in us takes time, and sometimes lots of it. 

We have all these plans for the next 365 days, which in itself is ironic, because we are not in control.  However, God knows are innermost heart, and He places the intention there.  But instead of 365 days, guess what...He might say...40 years my friend...take a walk through this dessert I created...learn to rely on Me...then, if you are still concerned, we can talk about your plans. 

I can affirm that a little over 4 years ago when I realized what it truly meant to have a relationship with God, I was not ready 5 days later to go out and conquer the world for Jesus.  I could not have handled that scrutiny.  Today I find myself a little stronger, but still full of sin and weakness on a daily basis.  I have a mosaic of broken tiles as my shield.  As I read yesterday, I had to acknowledge, that He may indeed mold me for another 40 years, before my "big" discipleship moment. 

I read an inspiration the other day that said "Live each moment like you chose it".  When I shared this with my husband the other day, he said "um, but I didn't choose it".  And it is tough, because a lot of times, that is the case.  But if we can switch the lever and discern where we find ourselves as if it was by choice, we can be more intentional about how we proceed while we seek whatever-in-the-wide-world-of-sports it is that we are seeking.  So instead of bemoaning adversity, we can say "here I am, how do I want this to end, and how does God want this to end?".  If we bring God along, the answer will always be gently, with kindness and love.

Seek, discern, be intentional.  Your path is your own to grout...one beautiful, albeit sometimes broken/shattered, tile at a time.  May you have a Fulfilling 2016!

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