A Song to Recall My Memory

There is a new song out by Group 1 Crew called "Wake Me Up (Amnesia)".  And not only is this song catchy, for me, it is like sticking my nose against a mirror.  I am somewhat concerned that the band stalks me because this song was written about me, to me, for me...

Won't you wake me up when my faith is asleep; You never let me go, bring back my memory.  You bring these fools to love when you breathe into me.  Remind me how much I need ya, when I get amnesia.  Wake Me Up.

It also says "I forget the things that I should do, and do the things I shouldn't" and asks "who will I choose?  Me or You?".

I am going to be honest with y'all...when I am frustrated, grieving, plotting someone's demise...when I am in the heat of the moment...I totally forget what I am supposed to be doing.  And I know that God has His megaphone out when "Wake Me Up" comes on EVERY TIME I get in the car.  EVERY.SINGLE.TIME.  Wake up indeed...

I shut down when I am frustrated and go over scenarios in my head debating how to handle the situation.  I was told I appear rude...and I am sure I do...but I would rather appear rude, than open my mouth and totally confirm it.  I need time to cool my jets.   I also clean house when I am at a stalemate with myself, so if I appear rude, you may want to hire me to brighten your homestead. When the Swiffer comes out, my family knows to stear clear, even the dog...

And I prayed and cried and prayed and cried some more.  And when I was spent, I went to the Lord's Prayer and I had the BEST night's sleep that I have had in quite some time.  And God showed me a picture of my sorority sister and co-survivor of college physics at her 13 year old son's grave.  And my problem didn't seem quite so big.  And I got a text saying my sister-in-law's 19 year old brother had been in an accident and was called to rest in his forever home.  And my problem didn't seem quite so big.

And I wake up.  Because my amnesia clouds my current ability to remember that God is good and He is in control.  He counts our tears.  And yesterday, as my family laughed and giggled and ate cookie dough in the kitchen, He reminded me that He works ALL things for His good.  He reminded me that He brings my family closer and makes us stronger with each adverse situation.  He reminded me that life is so short and at the same time so much bigger than our current moment.  And He restored my peace.

My husband is the only thing that has survived my high-school goals.  And so for each of my children, this is but a moment.  A life lesson, an opportunity to test abilities, a chance to be molded and strengthened either in response to, or in spite of others.  Kids are way more resilient than adults, I have had 40 years to perfect holding a grudge and have had several moments where me and my friend Windex burned some calories.

Today was my daughters half-birthday and I took her this morning to get her learner's permit to drive and a Starbucks to celebrate the unbirthday.  She took over the wheel and got us back to the school parking lot all in one piece, although my hands are sore from gripping the seat.  As she bounded into school and I headed to work, the DJ on theHouseFM spoke to my heart.

She said REMEMBER when you were little and your parents would drop you off at your grandparents or a birthday party?  And she asked "what would they say as you got out of the car?".  Be good.  Because sometimes we get caught up in the moment and sometimes we just forget how to act.  As children of God we need to be reminded from time to time to be the good.

To REMEMBER all that He has blessed us with and that He is who we need to turn to in times of amnesia.

1 Thessalonians 1:3 Remember without ceasing your work of faith, and labor of love, and patience of hope in our Lord Jesus Christ...

REMEMBER that He sent His son to walk with us.  He understands humaning is way hard sometimes.  Jesus was constantly teaching us to love beyond ourselves and turned over tables in the temple because humans are good at making a mockery of things and forgeting what He came for.  People, we are messy and absent-minded and I am sure I get it wrong a lot more than I get it right most weeks.



Christmas is God's gift of sacrifice.  A "Wake-Up" to the world to be reconciled.  A megaphone in a manger calling us to remember how much He is needed in our world, so small and at the same time, so incredibly consuming...

'Tis the Season of Self-Control

My daughter made our family's first round of (people) puppy chow this past Sunday, before December ever even rolled over on the calendar.  Monday night she was applying some serious peer-pressure for me to have a handful.  I have been living low-carb since before Halloween, so I kindly explained to her that I am weak in the area of self-control with yummy things and one harmless bite would turn into me finishing off the container...which is quite large.  She replied "that is some serious self-control to not even have a bite".

I was happy to have the distraction of teaching her to make the (people) puppy chow that afternoon, because I was in the middle of some self-imposed stewing.  Someone from our church had responded, in what "I" perceived, rather rudely to something that was meant for the good of all, not just our church.  And it took me the better part of the day to calm down.  It took a tremendous amount of self-control to not tell them my current perception of their actions.  

Tuesday night, as I was ending my voluntary shift in the basketball concession, I had someone start in on me about all the things they didn't agree with.  It probably wasn't the kindest gesture, but my facial expression was a wide-eyed are you serious? and my arms went up in the air and I walked off.  My physical ability to bite my tongue is getting better, but the thumping pressure of blood coursing through my body is contending for top speed on Fast and Furious.  

And it is only December 3rd.

This month is the month of self-control.  We have to keep ourselves in check and control:

How much we indulge our appetite at the numerous Open Houses and Holiday Parties.

How much we spend on gifts.

How many gifts.

How full we fill our calendars.

The choice to attend church functions over sleeping-in or running errands.

If we have that extra glass of wine.

If we allow ourselves to get overwhelmed by all there is to do before the 25th.

If we show kindness (or at least the ability to be quiet...maybe not use our arms as we walk away).

If we slow down enough to realize that we are blessed and maybe there is something we can do for someone whose current situation isn't as comfortable as our own.

How many cookies we have.

How much puppy-chow we eat.

How many times we forgive others who are just as wound up by the season and things not going their way.

The season is in our hands.  And I am preaching to myself here...the season should be in our hearts.  Preach. On.  It should be about Celebrating the birth of a savior.  Savior.  Sent to Save.  We sang a song last night by 4Him "A Strange Way to Save the World".  And so He did...

This should be the time of year that we are moved to extend grace, love, compassion, mercy, and the message of Hope.  Yet we are more concerned over wrappings, shiny things, merlot, eggnog, proper verbage, and the next batch of perfectly decorated sugar cookies.  Just typing all that makes my ears warm and so nervous I have to go pee.

2 Timothy 1:7  For the Spirit God gave us does not make us timid, but gives us power, love, and self-discipline.  

The power to choose our words.  To power to search our heart for what is kind, true, and necessary.  

Love.  "Love Came Down at Christmas" is one of my favorite hymns.  A Savior.  Meant for good, and somewhere along the journey, the world krept in, and well...now we have to have self-control.

Self-discipline.  It is an art I tell ya.  Jesus saves...but His people, including myself, well...we make it all a little messy.   Thanks a lot Eve...

The good news is, that if you woke up this morning, He is giving you another chance to give it a go.  To lean on His Power to brighten your month, to wrap His Love around you like a fuzzy blanket, and to rely on His Self-Control (remember He was tempted too) to fill our stockings to the end of earth. 

Change is hard.  Changing our mindset to what the season is really about is hard.  It goes against every breeze that hits us when we step out our front door.  It goes against every TV commercial, holiday flyer, and community comparison.   

Change takes self-control, love, and power - all are freely given by a Savior, born in a manger, wrapped in sack cloth. 

"Love Came Down at Christmas" by one of my favorite Christian Bands - Jars of Clay

 "A Strange Way to Save the World" perfomed by Rascal Flatts (Beautiful!!)