So today, a couple of things, randomly strewn together, for your reading enjoyment (hopefully).
1. In January, I began reading the book of Ruth. Every night, for four weeks. Ruth is captivating. This (previous post reveals the power of 'This') woman left one comfort zone, refused to return to her family and where she grew up, and forged ahead as a foreigner with of all people, her mother-in-law. With the men in their lives deceased, and Naomi being of advanced age, Ruth gleaned the fields every day in order to provide their basic needs.
Gleaning is going behind the harvesters and gathering what remains have fallen to the ground off the sheaths of wheat, barley, etc. When I read the word "gleaning", God was kind enough to highlight it in my heart and surround it with a marque and Hollywood lights. From February 2016 to February 2017, all I could emotionally do was glean. The upheaval in my life had left a path of scraps, all I could muster each day was one foot in front of the other, clinging to God, no comfort zone in sight, feeling foreign in my own space, and gleaning the tiniest pieces of faith that I could find to nourish my soul.
Boaz. You all, God is our Boaz (better than Boaz actually). When He sees us willing to do the lowest of the low work to provide for our family (blood, church, community, whatever...), when He sees our loyalty to what is good, our obedience to uncomfortable zones, when we don't fit in with the harvesters, but are still thankful to glean, when we feel that no one will ever accept us for who we are...He calls us His. He restores us when we are lost, He welcomes us and our family into His home, and He creates a legacy beyond any we could have imagined when we thought all was lost.
2. Two things happened in one week to enlarge my circle of hope. When I leave for work in the mornings, the sun is most often, just breaking the horizon. In my little black car, I usually flip on the head lights. One morning, I did not. I made it the entire 23 minute drive, virtually in the dark.
Later that same week, the entire town was without power due to an issue at the main substation. I got ready for work by the light of my smart phone and headed out the door with 13% left on my battery and flipped on the headlights.
As I thought about sitting down to blog, that week, God gently reminded me that He will bring me safely through the dark times. Those mornings when I forget to embrace, shine, and remain in the light, when I attempt to paint on a happy face while looking in a mirror of shadows, God sees me to my destination and lets me know that we are approaching the end of this dark tunnel.
This week is Spring Break and I am blessed by my wonderful family of four. We kicked off the break with a W at the baseball game Friday night. My boys got up Saturday morning and headed to Texas to look at some colleges and catch a few baseball games, while my girl drove the interstate (AHHHHHH) to stay with a friend for a couple of days.
Me, well I hosted my WBS group for a salad buffet, prayer, crafting, laughs, and tears. Sunday was church, some completely unnecessary retail therapy with a dear friend, and a second coat of chalkboard paint on my prayer cubby.
We logged some steps at another college campus for my daughter, of which she fell in love and is ready to fly the nest (AHHHHHH), and celebrated fifteen years with my son. We plan to visit my baby brother's restaurant this evening for dinner and will end the week the way we started with a W in baseball.
Life is good. It is not good in the way I ever thought it would be, but I love the three people that fill my comfort zone beyond expression. I am doing my very best (with the help of vitamins and a good doctor) to let God do what God needs to do and simply get out of His way.
I am not the same person I was ten years ago, when I did the exact opposite of Ruth, and returned to the comfort of close proximity to my home town. I am not the same person I was five years ago when we lost everything but each other. I am not the same person I was a year ago when a variety of losses left me gleaning in the dark.
3. As you read this last paragraph today...I need you to keep a totally open mind. Those of you that know me, or have a similar sense of humor, you will laugh. Some of you, will be appalled...all of you...you do you. I did test this on four Christian women who "get me", so I know that I have them :-) But, to get to the point: As I was reading my daily scripture and devotions on March 8, in Jesus Always by Sarah Young, she writes, "But don't forget to enjoy the satisfaction of accomplishing good things with Me, through Me, and for Me". What do I write in the margin? w.t.f. Yes...yes I did.
The more I thought about it, the more I thought...what a great reminder to stop and pray. When the situation leaves me with a more secular desire to say w.t.f. - I can stop, close my eyes, and say, "with Him, through Him, for Him". Sunday, my friend added "happiness, health, and peace" to my shotgun prayers for all things annoying. I purchased dark sunglasses a few weeks ago, so I can roll my eyes in peace. I am human just like all of us and far from perfect.
Titus 3:2-5 (KJV) To speak evil of no man, to be no brawlers, but gentle, shewing all meekness unto all men,. For we ourselves also were sometimes foolish, disobedient, deceived, serving divers lusts and pleasures, living in malice, envy, hateful, and hating one another. But after the kindness and love of God our Saviour toward man appeared, not by works of righteousness we have done, but according to his mercy he saved us, by the washing of regeneration, and renewing of the Holy Ghost.
I love this book of the Bible. It is about our character. How we are "foolish, disobedient, deceived" and how only God's righteousness saves us. I am working on being a loyal gleaner in the hopes that one day, God will promote me to harvester. I am walking out of my season of darkness and appreciating His brilliant light. I am merely a person, imperfect and full of questions, but seeking God nonetheless.
Won't you slip on your sunglasses and step into the sunrise with me?
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